If only I knew

Chapter Forty-five

I ran into Jia Zheng when I returned to the hotel to pick up my bag which I had left with the concierge. He was surprised and pleased to see me. But when he saw my reddened eyes, his face immediately creased into a frown.

"Are you alright? What happened?" he asked, his voice was full of worry and concern.

"I'm fine. I'm going back to Shanghai," I told him.

"How are you going back?"

"I'll take the bus. I should leave now else I'll miss the bus -"

But he grabbed me by my wrist. "I'll drive you back."

"Oh - no, you still have to go to your seminar tomorrow -"

"It's still early. I can make it back in time."

"It's fine -" I insisted but he was even more insistent. He simply pulled me by my wrist and led me to the car despite my protest. He sat me in and put the seatbelt over me so I had no choice, then he put my bag in the back.

He didn't ask any question as we got on the road. Only soft music was playing. Then, JC's song came on, the one he sang with Yang Zi, and my tears just fell uncontrollably.

He saw it of course, and handed me the tissue paper.

"Sorry," I apologized.

"It's okay," he said while he quickly changed to another channel, this time just classical music.

After I settled down and more calm, I told him, "He said he wanted a break."

He didn't comment until a long while. "He wants to break up?"

"Technically no. He just say we should take a break."

"What does that mean..?"

"It sounds like breaking up isn't it?" I let out a cold laugh.

"Well.."

There was a long pause once again before he spoke.

"Is it because of me?" he asked quietly.

"Huh?"

"He wasn't very happy the last time -"

"It's got nothing to do with you," I told him. "This is just between us. We just - maybe it's just not working out anymore."

"Hmph.." he seemed to have some thoughts but he didn't say it out.

"I'll be fine," I said. "I'll be sad for awhile but I'll get over it."

"But you guys have not broken up, just taking a break from each other, why do you have to get over it..?"

"This is usually a prelude to breaking up isn't it?" I smiled sadly. My tears have stopped flowing at least.

"Not necessary. It depends how you reconcile it."

"I don't think there's much possibility.."

"If you love him, you'll fight for it. You won't give up so easily."

"It takes two hands to clap."

"True.. but -"

"Anyway, I'll be fine."

We reached Shanghai around half past eight. As I had no appetite so we went straight home. He came over to my place and cooked some congee. He insisted that I must eat something. He said I looked so pale like a vampire.

After dinner, he washed up while I went to shower. When I came out, he was still around.

"Don't you have to get back?" I asked.