Silver Lining - The Host fanfiction

Chapter 88 The Wingman

When we long for life without difficulties,

Remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds

And diamonds are made under pressure.

-Peter Marshall

Burns

Emma is not there when I return. And she's not in our room either. Blake's gone as well and I wonder if they're together. If there was any doubt before, it is official now. I love Emma. And I don't like it at all that she's with Blake.

I know the right thing to do is to step aside and let her be with him, but for the first time in my life I don't want to do what's right. I want him to stay away from her. I want her to choose me.

It's incredibly selfish and completely against my nature, but to my surprise I don't care.

Maybe I'm turning human after all.

I lie down on my mattress and stare at the ceiling. If I can't have Emma, then what am I here for? Sure, most of the humans have accepted me, but I'm not one of them. I never will be. And if Emma is with Blake, then I'll be all alone.

There are voices outside in the tunnel. They are muted, probably because almost everyone is asleep now, but I still recognize them.

Blake and Emma.

I sigh. Just as I expected.

I turn on my side with my back towards the entrance and try to hear their conversation. They're speaking softly, so I have to focus very hard, but I can still make out the words.

"Thanks," I hear Emma say, "for tonight." There's a shyness to her voice that brings out that jealous feeling again.

"You're welcome squirky," Blake answers, "remember what I said, okay? It will be fine."

It's quiet after that and I wonder what they're doing. Is he kissing her goodnight?

"See you in the morning, squirky." There's a teasing tone to his voice.

"Night," Emma mutters. I hear the curtain move when she comes in. She's trying very hard not to make a sound and I pretend to be asleep.

I listen how she settles in and a few minutes later I hear her regular breath.

She's asleep.

I turn over so I can look at her. Will she be moving into Blake's sleeping space now?

A stone settles in my stomach. This may be the last night I can look at her. I don't want to waste it by falling asleep.

But of course the night does not agree with me. My eyes grow heavy. And I'm gone.

***

When I wake up that morning, Emma is still fast asleep. I don't want to wake her so I just lie there, looking at her for a while.

Suppose I can't blame her for liking Blake. He is charming and funny and I guess he's handsome too. He'll be perfect for her.

The sooner I accept it, the easier it will be.

I sigh and shake my head. I need to let her go. She deserves to be happy.

Quietly I get dressed and walk out to get breakfast.

...

The food is still luxurious today. They're eating the remains of yesterday's fest. A lot of the food will easily spoil. I'm not complaining. It's nice to have cereal with milk again.