Silver Lining - The Host fanfiction

Chapter 15 The Observer

“Silence speaks louder than words.”

 

Burns

 

I wasn’t snooping. Honestly. I just tripped over her bag. I would never go through someone’s belongings without permission, but the notebook just fell out, so I picked it up. It’s not even her notebook. It’s mine. The one I gave her yesterday so she could make notes for me. I’m allowed to flip through it. I’m curious what she wrote down.
I smile when I see the little drawings in the margins. Perhaps I should get her a new sketchbook since her old one is ruined. Her doodles are quite accurate. Almost as good as Scales draws them.
When I flip the page my eyes grow large. The next page contains a picture of me. And I mean me. Not the human body I wear. At least, it’s supposed to be me. I recognize the description I gave her of what a Soul looks like, but I suppose her human brain comes up with this.
A sound behind me makes me turn around. Emma is standing on the stairs, dry toweling her hair. Her eyes move to the notebook in my hands and I feel caught, like I’m doing something forbidden.
“It fell out,” I excuse myself.

She takes a step closer. The towel dangles from her finger tips. “It’s your notebook,” she says softly.
I notice how she avoids meeting my eyes. Is she embarrassed? “Is this what you think I look like?” I ask her and hold up the picture.
“It’s what you told me you looked like,” she answers. Her eyes flicker to my face uncertain. Is she afraid of offending me?
“Yeah,” I say, “I know… but…”
“But it’s not what you look like, is it?” she finishes for me.
I stare at her for a moment to think about my words so I don’t confuse her. “Well I do,” I say, “but I don’t.” Oh yes Burns, very smooth. Not confusing at all. But she surprises me.

“It’s not that easy, is it? Understanding something you don’t know.”
A relieved sigh escapes my mouth. “No,” I say, “it isn’t.”
We stare at each other for a while, but it isn’t uncomfortable.
“What would you say if we go shopping today?”
She raises an eyebrow at me. “Souls shop?”
“Of course we do. We need things too. I just thought perhaps you like some new clothes.”
That silences her, but only for a few seconds. “I can’t accept that.”
“Why not?” I ask confused, “all it takes is a drive to town. I need to go to town anyway. I want to take some more pictures.”

She shakes her head slightly. “I’m not used to everything being for free yet. I keep thinking about how expensive clothes used to be.”
That was her objection? That it might cost me something? Even so, It wouldn’t have mattered. I would have given her whatever she would need. That is how we are.
“Is that a yes then?” I ask.
She looks at the floor. “I don’t know.”
“Okay,” I nod, though I am slightly disappointed, “then we’ll stay here.”
“Huh?” Emma’s head snaps up and she stares at me confused. “I thought you said you had to go to town.”
“I’ll just go some other time. It’s fine. It can wait.”
“You don’t have to stay here because of me.” Her eyes are wide.
“I don’t mind,” I laugh, “besides it’s no fun going alone. I like to have company.”
“But you’re alone when you go out to do your research,” she comments.
I shrug at that. “Not necessarily. Sometimes I invite Scales to come along or I go visit Core and Ocean and do research where they live. And I often meet new people on my travels.” I laugh at her. “Kind of how I met you.”
She manages a wry smile. “Sorry for ruining that for you.”
“You’re not. I like having you around.”
“Even though I keep you from doing the things you want to do?” she asks.
I shake my head at her amused. “Emma, I am doing the things I want to do. And didn’t you go with me into the mountains yesterday? We had fun, didn’t we?”
“I suppose,” she says, “but we didn’t run into other people yesterday.”
“So if we don’t run into other people, you’ll come?”
She lets out a soft laugh. “We’re going shopping. We’re bound to run into other people.”
It’s my turn to laugh now. “It’s not like I’m going to stop and talk with everyone on the streets. The store personal maybe. Or I might say hi to a random stranger.” I tilt my head. “Good enough?”
Emma sighs in defeat and I suddenly feel guilty. It’s a strange thing to feel when you haven’t done anything wrong. I smile at her reassuringly. “Forget what I said. I won’t push you.”
“No,” she tells me, “it’s fine. I’ll come with you.”
“You don’t have to say yes just to please me.”
“Do you want me to come or not?” she suddenly seems annoyed.