Chapter 52: Moving On?

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Clove's POV

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27 February 3114

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I don't hate lif, I don't hate God for giving me this, malfunction in my body. I love life, I know I shouldn't though, not after what I did in the Hunger Games. I love God, I couldn't hate him.

I rub my stomach gingerly. I haven't cried, why would I?

If this is what God has chosen for me, then I accept it. I do. If I'm to die, then so be it. Everything happens for a reason, right?

I just need to enjoy life more, I need to open my eyes, the world is full of colour and wonder, but I only see in black and white.

I look in the mirror, I'm happy. I force a smile. I'm meeting Taylor for my first session today, then I'm meeting Samara, Kyle and Madilyn, his wife, tomorrow.

I don't want to do either. I just want to spend time with Roni, Kalen and Izabelle. That's what my life revolves around, right? And what about knife throwing? My best friend?

I exit my bed room and bump into Izabelle.

"Clove? What are you doing?" She asks skeptically.

"I'm going for a walk...." I murmur.

"Mhmm, in skinny jeans? Nice try, where are you really going?" She hisses.

"For a walk Izabelle!" I snap. "I'm sorry, I didn't sleep last night, I'll be back soon." I say, shuffling past her.

"Liar." She scoffs, but I ignore her.

I feel a tear dance down my cheek as I shut the front door behind me. I just want peace, in my head. Anyway.

I slump to the hospital groggily. This is the last thing I want. To be stuck in a room talking about my feelings and all that. I don't even know if Taylor knows that I have cancer.

I rush up the stairs to the third floor, and feel slightly lightheaded when I reach the top. I knock on Taylor's door gingerly.

"C'mon in!" His voice calls. I smile and wipe out the invisable wrinkles in my clothes. I push open the heavy wooden door and creep inside.

"Taylor? Am I too early?" I ask.

"Oh no Clove! Take a seat hon!" Did he just call me hon? Really?

I take a seat in the plush red armchair. He swings around in his swivel chair and faces me with a clipboard and a pen in hand.

"Maybe next time we can go somewhere a little more....."

"Appealing?" I butt in.

He nods and laughs at my gesture. I frown and tuck a piece of hair behind my ear.

"I just want to talk about how you feel, right now... I was hoping to get you in next week, before you start your chemo... if that's okay?" I nod, not giving him anything else.

"So just relax. This isn't a test." I roll my eyes and sit back in the chair. "How are you?".

"Fine."

"How's Cato?"

"As well as he can be."

I felt bad for Cato, I really do. I feel like I smashed his world into bits, oh wait, that's exactly what I did.I broke his heart. I feel as Iif I should make it up to him. But how? He's moving out like right now!

"Any new memories?"

"If I had 'any new memories', do you think I'd be sitting in this chair. No, I wouldn't. I'd probably be out with Cato!" I snap. "Can I just leave, please? There's a few things I must do and I...."

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