Most things are forgotten over time. Even the war itself, the life-and-death struggle people went through is now like something from the distant past. Everyone is just so caught up in their everyday lives that events of the past are no longer in orbit around their minds minds. There are just too many things that everyone has to think about everyday, too many new things they have to learn. But still, no matter how much time passes, no matter what takes place in the interim, there are some things no one can ever assign to oblivion, memories we can never rub away. They remain with us forever, like a touchstone.
Life has a way of going in circles.
Ideally, it would be a straight path forward -everyone would always know where they were going, they'd always be able to move on and leave everything else behind. There would be nothing but the present and the future. Instead, they always find themselves where they started. When they try to move ahead, they end up taking a step back. They carry everything with them, the weight exhausting them until they want to collapse and give up.
They forget things they try to remember. They remember things they'd rather forget. The most frightening thing about memory is that it leaves no choice. It has mastered an incomprehensible art of forgetting. It erases, it smudges, it fills in blank spaces with details that don't exist.
But, however they remember it, -or choose to remember it- the past is the foundation that holds everyone's lives in place. Without its support, they'd have nothing for guidance. They spend so much time focused on what lies ahead, when what has fallen behind is just as important. What defines people isn't where they're going, but where they've been. Although there are places and people they will never see again, and although they move on and let them go, they remain a part of who they are.
There are things that will never change, things they will carry along with them always. But, as they venture into the murky future, they must find their strength by learning to leave things behind.
If only the team could forget, even for a day. Then maybe they would be able to live a normal life. Social with people who don't know why they are who they are. What the whole story is behind their Project Freelancer lives. If they could forget, for maybe just a single day, then maybe they could see how the other, newer, Freelancers lived how they do.
Those thoughts were what danced across Nevada's mind as she laid in bed, staring at the wall. Despite the yawns that excaped her, she couldn't sleep. She knew that she was tired, that she needed sleep. Her muscles were already beginning to protest from the long few hours that she carried CO around. Even though she knew that that was going to kill her -metaphorically- later, she didn't refuse CO. Why? Because she was the only person -besides Iowa- that could laugh in a serious moment. Who could smile in the darkest times.
She made others smile, and was a good friend. Just those two reasons are what made Nevada except. She would do the same for Iowa, as well. Alaska and Michigan to. Her team meant the world to her. It's what's been keeping her marching forward. Without her team -without her friends- she would have stopped a long time back. Given up when Vanguard came into play.
She wondered if the other shared the same sort of thoughts, or if they pushed all of them like it away, not letting it into their consciousness. Nevada wished she could do that, push the ever wandering thoughts from her mind. She over thought many thing like this. Over thought them, made them more complicated than they should be. She quietly sighed, and flipped, for the zillionth time.
Her dark auburn hair settled near her right eye. It irratated her, but, for some reason, didn't bother moving it away. She sat up, propping herself against the straight backboard of her bed. Her dark, sage colored, eyes scanned the room in the dark, only able to pick out a few details. She could see the silhoutte of the table and chairs, and, from where she was sitting, she could faintly see the flowers, pictures, a bit of the kitchenette.
YOU ARE READING
Blood On Our Hands (Red vs Blue)
Fanfiction[ Book II ] We were forgotten. Left out of the reports, hidden by coding and machines. If I had known, if I was awake, I probably would have laughed. We were the past, a dark past to the Project. We might have saved it then, but what if they come ba...
