When Love Gets Complicated [ A One Direction fanfiction <3 ]

Chapter 52 - Regrets.

Chapter 52 - Regrets

Everything just felt like a blur. All of the drama from this week just slipped away from my mind. Everything felt right, although, I wasn't sure if it was right. The thought of leaving Harry was killing me. I still couldn’t believe I made that decision. But what I was doing right now got my mind off of it quite well.

I could hear the sound of waves outside, I looked through the window to look at the beautiful view for a second. But just then I felt him touch my arm and turn me around. He smacked his lips onto mine and pulled my legs around his hips. I ran my fingers through his hair and kissed him aggressively. I pulled back and gasped for air, and then he laid me down onto the bed. I took a deep breath and let whatever was about to happen, happen.

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*Harry’s POV*

I couldn't believe this.

After all I been through, after all the effort I put into making her believe I could be the same old Harry again. I was the same Harry, I just needed time to get used to my old life, I thought she understood that. What hadn’t I done to prove myself? I shouldn’t have had to prove myself, she should have the trust in me that she always accuses me of lacking in her. I was furious, but most of all I was heartbroken.

I was in love with Rachel. I hadn’t ever met anyone like before and as fucking cheesy as it sounds, it the damn truth. I needed her with me, I needed to know that I would be able to wake up the next day and wish her good morning with a kiss. I crushed my face into the palms of my hands. I still hadn't moved from the spot where Rachel had called it off. So much had just happened, in those few seconds, it still hadn’t sunk in that she left me. I was trying so hard to be this perfect guy, but it’s hard as hell when there is no such thing. I knew there was something going on with her. I knew she was hiding something from me, but every time I pulled her away from everyone else and it was just two, she always had that twinkle in her and that bright smile.

I never really paid much thought to the drowning incident, I didn’t want to even bring it up again. But if she had brought it up I would have confessed. She said it herself, the drowning incident wasn’t even why she was that pissed off, it was because she didn’t trust me. I finally stood up off of the floor and walked out the door of the restaurant. I ignored everyone’s constant calls behind me asking me what happened, and to stay. I walked towards the beach. The water always calmed me down, maybe that would be the best for me.

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I took a deep, deep breath inhaling the fresh air surrounding me. I tore off my blazer and threw it on the ground, revealing my half buttoned white polo underneath. There it was, I felt that little drop trickle down my cheek. I brushed my index finger past my cheek and looked at it. I fucking hated crying. I hated it more than anything.  I was trying for so long to hold them back, but here they were. I paced back and forth along the sand, trying to get Rachel out of my head. Trying to put into my head that she was gone and she was no longer with me. I wanted her to be mine, but she no longer was, and it was all my damn fault.

"I love you, I really do. And I know you love me. I just feel that for now, we need a break. It could be for a short time, or for a long; I really don't know. I just know that it's what we need right now. It’s the best thing for the both of us."

I could hear her voice repeating the same thing to me over and over again. Even though it was just a break, how long would that be for? And what if she found someone else by that time? Was she really going to wait for me? Did Rachel even love me as much as I loved her?