Amnesia

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A/N: Please check out my Stiles Stilinski One shot 'Hold On'.  :) I just published it 


This is a song fic. Amnesia by 5 Seconds of Summer



I drove by all the places we used to hang out getting wasted
I thought about our last kiss, how it felt the way you tasted

Stiles locks the door of his jeep. He walks trough the woods to their place. No not theirs anymore. He sights and sits down against a tree. He remembers all the fun he and Derek had here. It was their place. They'd meet here at midnight, watch the moon and the stars. It was where their first kiss was. And their last. Oh, their last kiss. Derek told him he loved him. Stiles had smashed his lips on Derek's. He had tasted like chocolate, that was probably because Stiles had bought some.



And even though your friends tell me you're doing fine
Are you somewhere feeling lonely even though he's right beside you?
When he says those words that hurt you, do you read the ones I wrote you?

Stiles saw Derek a few times after their break up. Derek had already moved on. He was back with Breaden. But Derek's eyes didn't shine with happiness. Not like when he was with Stiles. Did he feel lonely? Boyd had told him to move on. "Derek moved on. He's happy. Move on Stiles." Boyd had said. Stiles scrolled on his phone and looked at all the messages they had send when they were together. 


Sometimes I start to wonder, was it just a lie?
If what we had was real, how could you be fine?
'Cause I'm not fine at all

How could Derek be happy? It was three weeks since their broke up. Was their relationship not real? Was Derek just messing with him. Did he never really love Stiles? Stiles sobs in his pillow. Why did it have to end like this. Why couldn't they be happy together. Why did it so hurt?



I remember the day you told me you were leaving
I remember the make-up running down your face
And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them
Like every single wish we ever made
I wish that I could wake up with amnesia
And forget about the stupid little things
Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you
And the memories I never can escape
'Cause I'm not fine at all


Stiles will never forget the day Derek left. It was like a nightmare and it keeps repeating in his dreams. He remembers the look on Derek's face. The tears on his cheeks. "It's over". Stiles still hears it. He remembers the plans they had made for the future. They would stay in Beacon Hills, rebuild the old Hale house and start a family. They would adopt a few werewolf babies from another pack. Stiles would be a deputy at the sheriffs station and Derek would start writing again. Stiles wish he could just forget all of it. The dreams, the wishes, the words, the plans, the love. All those stupid little things he remembers. The way it felt to fall asleep in his strong arms and wake up on his muscular chest. Stiles felt all alone now. 



The pictures that you sent me they're still living in my phone
I'll admit I like to see them, I'll admit I feel alone
And all my friends keep asking why I'm not around

Of course his friends never knew about their relationship, besides Boyd. Scott kept asking Stiles why he never came to the pack meetings. Stiles just told him he was busy. But he wasn't. He was just laying on his bed looking at pictures from Derek. Their dates, their sleepovers. It made him feel even mote alone.


If today I woke up with you right beside me
Like all of this was just some twisted dream
I'd hold you closer than I ever did before
And you'd never slip away
And you'd never hear me say

Stiles thought about it being all a dream. He'd wake up in Derek's arms. He'd hear Derek's snores. He'd hold him close and would never let him go. He would tell him how much he loved him. But it wasn't a dream. It was reality. Derek had moved on. Stiles should too. But it isn't that easy.



'Cause I'm not fine at all
No, I'm really not fine at all
Tell me this is just a dream
'Cause I'm really not fine at all


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