Trust

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(Wanda and Sam Wilson are going to help him recover from Infinity war, Endgame, and being betrayed by Quinton Beck. Part of it is a prompt from 'suellen_shashati'. Wanda can help by finding his 'core trauma' and Sam helps by being someone Peter can talk to as he helped veterans with PTSD before becoming an Avenger.)

Here's an update!


Trust in a funny thing. 

It can take years to build it and only seconds to destroy it. One second for everything to fall apart and one second for you to never trust again. I personally think trust is overrated. What's the point of it when people are just going to break it? 

I tried trusting and it got people killed and nearly killed me. 

So no, I won't trust again.

After Beck, I don't think I can trust again. Not after what he did. 

I am broken and I don't think anyone really blames me. Beck tried to release my identity to the world and blame the attack on me before he died. I'm lucky that S.H.I.E.L.D. cleared me of orchestrating the attack and said that I was a man in my twenties, not a total lie but anyone in the blip is still considered to be their age before the blip.

I ended up taking a break from being the web-slinger for a while. I needed a break from being him. I don't think I could be him if I wanted to. Even looking at the suit nearly threw me into a panic attack. 

I can't be the one person I want to be.

So I had decided to live at the new Avengers Compound with the remaining Avengers and a few higher up agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. It was stressful, having all of the people, more chances to be lied to but it was better than living in the city teeming with people.

I also noticed that I can't stand to be in the city anymore. To many people, to much noise. I was sent into a panic attack daily when living in the city. The quiet life out in the country at the compound was much better suited for me now.

I was adjusting, slowly but surely. I no longer jumped at tiny noises and I no longer refused to be around people. I had started eating meals with the other Avengers, having movie nights with them every now and then, and I was even able to start training again without being thrown into a panic attack.

And then it all changes one movie night.


***************


It was another one of our movie nights and we were all enjoying ourselves. With all of our problems, we normally stick to Disney movies, there are not too many triggers in them for us, even with our broad range of triggers.

"Hey, Pete? Can you grab a blanket out of the closet?" Pepper asks and I nod.

"Sure, which one?" I ask while getting up.

"The checkered one," Pepper says and I nod.

"Sure thing," I say while getting up.

I look behind me and smile. All of the remaining Avengers were curled up on the couches of loveseats. Sam Wilson was seated next to Bucky, Carol, Pepper and Morgan are curled up next to each other, Bruce is on his own loveseat, Rhodey is on the other side of Sam, and Scott and Cassy are curled together on another couch with Hope on the other side of Scott. Happy was on his own loveseat as well. May was on vacation but if she was here I knew she would be curled next to Happy.

We were one odd family but maybe that's what made us a closer family. We had all lived through some pretty tough stuff. Some of it together and some of it on our own. We had kind of bonded over our shared trauma and that made us closer then anyone else could be. We know what it's like and we know how to help.

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