The Ghosts Of Her Past (A Completed, Steamy Romantic Mystery)

Part Fourteen

Detective Sinclair said he will go to New York to talk to the family, but there's no way in hell I'm not going.  He set up an appointment with the family for this Saturday.  I'll probably take Friday off to rest a little before meeting with the family, then also Monday.  I think I've been working long enough to take a few days off, and I'll be meeting him and Det. Franks in New York. It's not a long flight for me, and normally it wouldn't be that hard, but with this damn morning sickness, it sucks. I left her office feeling a tad better, then went to Skyline to meet Gray. 

He sent me a text saying he already found a table, so I walked in and he greeted me with a hug.  "You've lost weight, are you feeling okay?"

We took a seat.  "I feel better than I was before I found out, I've been struggling with Lisa's death. The doctor prescribed some vitamins that seem to be helping." I said.

"I'm so sorry, Cora.  I should have been more careful, and you have my sympathies about Lisa, she was one of the good ones." He said.

"Thanks about Lisa, but know perfectly well you can't take the blame here, Gray."

"It was my responsibility." He said.

I shook my head.  "No, it was our responsibility, and I'm the one that owes you the apology."

"For what?" He asked.

"For giving you hope there would be anything for us in the future.  I'm serious when I say we cannot go down that road again." I reminded him.

The waitress came and took our orders.

"Anyway, I care for you, but I don't love you the way you deserve to be loved, and this baby won't change that. It's also your choice how much you want to be involved in this baby's life."

He sat back and looked at me.  "I'm that child's father and that's exactly what I plan to be. I will be moving back home and stay at your side the entire time." He said.

"I'm glad to hear that, I just bought a house so the baby will have space to grow.  I think I can do this, but having you involved will be great.  A child needs it's father, and I knew you would want to take care of us.  You're a good man, Gray."

"Did you ever love me?" He leaned forward and looked at me.

"Of course I did, but no matter how much you defend yourself, you cheated, and that hurt.  Don't tell me you stopped her, then ran home to me.  I'm tired of hearing that story." I took a deep breath and let it out. "I know about Mandy."

His face fell. 

I nodded.  "I did love you, but you weren't completely honest.  Neither was I because I didn't tell you I found out, but I also know you haven't been honest about other women. I will not raise a child in a home with a man that cannot stay faithful.  This isn't a punishment, it's the reality that a relationship needs more than just trust.  It needs love and commitment, which neither would exist in a relationship between us."

"Cora, that was a long time ago."

I shook my head.  "No, you've had six years to be honest with me.  I might be bringing your baby into this world, but that doesn't fix the past.  It's been one lie after another, and I won't put myself back into that position.  You're with someone now, correct?" I asked.

He ran his hand over his face.  "I met her a few weeks ago."

"Good, treat her right.  I can do this without you here, Gray. If you found a life back there, it's okay, I've got this, and we will be fine.  You can still be a father and not live here, you deserve a life too." I said.

The waitress brought our food and, suddenly, chili no longer sounds very good. One smell was all it took.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

I pushed my plate away.  "I don't want this food." I crinkled my nose.

"We can go somewhere else." He offered.

"No, just eat, and I'll grab something at home."

"Are you sure?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'll just have the crackers."

He just looked at me.  "Mandy was in college."

"None of that matters now.  The only thing that matters is this baby." I said.

"You're right, but I am moving home. I took a position at Children's Hospital.  I'm glad I did since now I'm going to be a dad.  I want in this as much as you will allow.  I'll go to all your appointments, paint the nursery, put furniture together, and pay for the birth.  After that, I'll be the best dad I can be and support you and our baby." He said.

I don't have a doubt he will, he might be a cheater, but that doesn't mean he is a bad man.

"I have good insurance, otherwise the rest is fine.  I hate painting and putting furniture together.  I also wouldn't want you to miss anything.  Please don't say you want to be involved as much as I allow. I might be carrying this baby, but it's your baby too.  It's not about me anymore." I said. 

"You're right, it's not about us. I just want you to know I plan to respect your wishes.  As the mother of my child, I have a responsibility toward you." He said.

"I appreciate that, but it goes both ways.  As long as we maintain a mutual respect for each other and the relationship we both have with our child, we will be okay." I said.

He gave me a smile and finally started to eat.  "Do you really wonder why I care so much for you, Cora?  You're amazing, and I wish I would have known then what I know now.  Things could be so different."

"Well, they're not, and we can't change the past. When do you leave town?" I asked. 

He wiped his mouth with his napkin.  "Tomorrow, I just have to finish up at work and get the apartment packed up.  I'll put everything in storage and stay with my parents until I find a place." He said.

"I'll be out of town this weekend, but I'll be here after that if you need any help." I said. 

"What about your place?  You'll be moving in soon, right?  Maybe I'll come down and help you get settled in your new house." He said.

I shook my head.  "Eli is going to help and there won't be too much work.  The furniture is on order, so they will deliver it, and I really don't have much to unpack yet."

"Is work taking you out of town?" He asked.

I smiled.  "No, actually it's Lisa.  I found her real identity."

His eyes grew.  "Well, who was she?"

"I can't say anything until after we talk to her family, but hopefully, I can soon put this behind me." I said.

"Is Eli going with you?  For some reason this makes me nervous." He said.

"No, I'm going with the two detectives from Seattle.  I'll meet with her family, and I'm hoping we all get some kind of closure." I said.

"Well, I guess I feel better knowing you're going with the police.  When will you be back?" He asked.

"Sunday or Monday, I'll just have to see how it goes."

He finished eating, then paid our bill. "Are you sure you don't want to get something to eat somewhere else?" He asked as he walked me to my car.

"I might actually get myself a Bog Boy and take it home.  For some reason that sounds absolutely amazing." I said, and he chuckled.

"I guess the cravings have started."

"Maybe, yeah, I'm feeling pretty desperate for that burger." I laughed a little.

He pulled me into a hug and kissed the top of my head.  "Thank you."

I smiled when he pulled back.

"For what?"

"Having my baby and being so open and involving me." He smiled down at me.

"I guess if I'm going through this, I'm glad it's with you." I said.

He leaned in a kissed my cheek.  "I still love you, and it's never too late." He whispered. 

"It isn't too late to grow our friendship, and we will need that as this happens.  No more love talk, okay?" I asked.

He groaned. "Okay." He surrendered.