The Ghosts Of Her Past (A Completed, Steamy Romantic Mystery)

Part Ninety Seven

Cora

I was so tired when Blaine woke me for our flight to Aspen, that it took everything I had to get ready.  The moment we got on the jet, he picked me up and carried me to the back with a stern warning to the flight attendant to leave us alone in the bedroom.  I slept most of the flight, but I woke to him kissing my neck and we made love again.

I finally realized why he chose Aspen as our honeymoon location.  It's winter, I can't even ski, so he figured we would have no choice but to stay in all week.  He was serious about staying naked the entire time.  What he didn't realize, is how the town would be gearing up for Christmas.  We missed Thanksgiving, so I had plans of my own.  I made us our own Thanksgiving meal, talked him into Christmas shopping, and he even took me on a horse and carriage ride.  We went out at night and saw all the Christmas lights, but managed to worship each other's bodies the entire week. 

One night, we curled up in front of the fire and he held me as we told each other all of our hopes and dreams. A snowstorm rolled in and the roads were almost impassable.  His father is taking over at work and we both shut off our phones.  I worried at first about Will, but we did check in daily.  As he held me, we curled up naked under a plaid blanket and I felt safe and warm. 

Our cabin was large with a beautiful view of the mountains.  The large stone fireplace crackled and the light danced on Blaine's face. 

"Thank you," I said as he held me close.

"For what?" He asked.

"Loving me so good. After everything we have experienced, you made this so much easier," I said.

"Do you still think of him?" He asked.

I sighed.  "Yes, but I don't think of our last years.  I think back to when he was healthy and we were happy.  If he wasn't ill, it would have been easier to hate him, but he was, and I feel so sad this baby will never know the guy I cared for all those years ago.  I did love him, but not in the right way.  What we have is natural, but intense.  I love you in a way I never knew possible, but I feel guilty at some moments, because I know at one point he did love me." I said.

"Cora, I have a confession." He said, and I turned my face to look at him.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

He shook his head, then gave me a small smile. "Nothing, but I often wonder what would happen to me if I lost you.  We've only had a short time together, but I know I would be lost without you.  I can see how he fought that illness and tried hard to be a good man for you.  Unfortunately, the illness won and people were hurt.  Sometimes, when I see your hand lay over that baby you're carrying, I feel guilty.  That illness cheated him from knowing this baby, and here I am enjoying those small moments with you.  I feel attached to this baby, but at the same time, it's not biologically mine. If it were, I don't dare let myself wonder what it would feel like knowing a part of me is growing inside you." He said.

I pecked his lips.  "You will know someday, and I cannot thank you enough for accepting, not just me, but this baby," I said.

"I am so honored to be your husband, and I'm grateful for this opportunity to love this child." He said.

Sometimes its awkward trying to judge how much he wants to be involved.

"I'll be getting my ultrasound on Tuesday.  I would love to have you with me, but I don't want you to feel obligated after you've put your whole life on hold for us." I said.

"You have no idea how bad I hoped you would ask me.  No matter what's happening at work, I would like to go with you.  I don't want to miss a moment of your journey and this baby's life.  It's hard to explain, but I've grown attached.  I don't know, I guess its no different than the way I feel about Will." He said.

I rested my head against his chest as he held me on front of him.  "I can fully understand, I love Will already, too, and he doesn't share my same blood." I said.

"Can I be with you during the delivery?" He asked.

I smiled. "There isn't anyone else I would need by my side more than I will need you, not even Gray if he was with us." I said.

"That's actually a relief.  I'm not sure I would hold up so well in a waiting room.  I can't lie, the thought of you being in pain, and also the risks childbirth can present, scares me to death." He said.

"I'm healthy, and so far the baby is too.  I'm not so much worried for myself as I am for this baby.  The thought of losing it constantly torments me." I said.

"I'll be with you every step of the way." He said.

"I know you will. Its not going to be easy, especially since Gray wont be able to hold the baby.  I never wanted a child with that man, but that doesn't mean I don't feel sad about the situation." I said.

"I never even met the guy and still pity him.  I promise to do my best and be a good father." He said.

"You already are by making his mom so happy." I said, just before I told him to lay back and climbed on top of him. I held both of his hands as he looked up at me. 

"When I think about how amazing I feel when you make love to me, my heart races.  To know I could carry a piece of you and bring it to life, makes me fall even deeper in love with you.  I want your baby inside me so bad, the thought causes a physical reaction in me." I said before I leaned down to kiss him while I still held his hands. 

He wrapped his arms around me, then lifted me to line himself up just outside my opening.  I lowered my body and slowly made love to my husband while the fire cracked and popped.  He flipped me around onto my back and once again slid inside me.  With slow deep thrusts, he stared into my eyes and promised to love me until the day he dies. 

His whimpers and moans are damn sexy, and his physical reactions stir something deep inside me.  He sat up with each knee at my sides and looked down to where we were joined as one. He watched, then locked eyes with mine just as we came together in total bliss.