The Cinderella Punk

Relief and Pain Part 1 [Edited]

05/02/18

Edited. Cries.

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~Elle~

I walked with my soul mate, hand in hand though the park. The feeling of his large hands wrapped around mine was like no other. For months, the pain of not being able to see him was unbearable. The physical pain that I felt was the only reminder that I had to keep pushing on...The all consuming pain... That thought viciously pulled me back to reality.

Suddenly I felt a sharp pain run up the sides on my legs. My eyes widened as my breath rushed out of me. The pain was so intense that my grip on Havoc's hand tightened. The pain ran up my legs to my back, paralysing me. Tears pooled behind my eyes as my legs caved under me. Why did this have to happen now?

Havoc felt the tug on his arm and quickly bent down to scoop me up in his arms before I hit the ground. Tears streamed down my face even as I smiled gratefully at him. I could feel his fingers tighten around me.

"Angel..." he whispered, his voice hoarse. His eyes burned with sadness and pain.

My fingers shook as I laced them around his neck, resting my head on his shoulder. My tears continued to fall, drenching his shirt. The pain was sharp and it continued to shook up my legs to my spine and back again. Clenching my teeth, I turned my face up to press my lips gently to the side of his neck. I didn't want him to see me like this. I wanted to get well fast. So that I could walk with him. So that I could run into him arms. So that we could be the same as before...

But I knew I was being naïve. After what we've been through...nothing would be the same. Never. Our lives had changed drastically. Both of us had changed. A sob tore through me at this realization and I hugged Havoc tighter.

"Forgive me," I whispered. "I never wanted to cause you any more pain."

His silence pierced through me, even as he rubbed my back soothingly. The warmth of his body seeped into mine as he continued to hold me as I cried into his shirt. We were torn apart so suddenly and brought back together just as suddenly that I couldn't help the emotions that coursed through my body. The relief and pain was too much.

"You are strong Angel," he said suddenly. "We are strong."

I looked up at him and saw the resolve burning behind his eyes. I saw the fierce love blazing through to me. "I'll help you through this just as you have helped me regain my soul."

"But I'll never be the same again," I croaked through the emotion blocking my throat. "I'll never be able to fight like I used to...My legs...they...Oh Havoc...They hurt so much!"

I cried shamelessly. The emotions that I blocked off, that I hid and buried deep within me spilled out. Havoc sat down on a bench shaded by a large willow tree and pulled me closer to him, holding me tight. Within the safety of my soul mate's arms, I allowed myself the luxury of crying. To allow the emotions that I reserved for him, and only him, to show.

"Shh...come on baby don't cry. You're strong Angel. I know you can go through this..."