The beginning of forever

5 - You saved me and then drowns me.

Becky's POV

So, she has a new girl. I made some glances with their gestures to each other. Ashley seems to be clingy; always leaning towards Freen's shoulder, rubbing her arms, and held her hands. I tried to hide my irritation, but my patience run out when I saw her kissed Freen. I excused myself and went to the restroom.

In the restroom, I washed my face hoping I wash away my frustrations. My mind went back to the moment I realized it was no longer just a crush, but I already fell for her.

Flashback

Irin and I are now swimming in their pool enjoying the heat of the sun. Tomorrow evening I will travel to spend another school break in England, where my father's family is. Irin asked me to spend this day with her. "Please, I will miss you so much during the break, you're gonna leave me again. Let's have some exclusive bestie time before you go". I remember her say.

"Hey, why are you here?" Irin yelled as she saw Engfa, Nop and Friend entering the pool area.

"Coz we also want to spend time with Becky before she goes. And it's not just Becky who will leave for the school break this time. I will go to California and Nop to Japan. Won't you miss us as well? Friend responded as she walks towards the pool.

"I agree Irin. Let's enjoy a group bonding instead. Engfa supported Friend.

"But I will miss Becky the most. That's why this should have been an exclusive bestie time" Irin while rolling her eyes to our friends.

"Oh come on! Don't be selfish of Becky. She's also our friend, even more than that if she allows me to be." Nop said as he winks at me.

"Hey Nop! Stop hitting on her, the days of her having a crush on you has ended long time ago. You know that!" Irin protectively said.

"I was just kidding. And yeah, I know that I just regret I was too late to confess. But at least we are all good now" Nop said smiling at me.

I smiled back at him. It's true, he was my crush before Freen. And yes, I'm into boys and girls. Gender doesn't matter to me if my feelings are genuine for that person. And I'm happy my family and friends accept me.

We were chatting, swimming, and playing games. Enjoying each other's company. I unknowingly floated to deeper part of the pool and but suddenly I had leg cramp too painful for me to swim back.

No one noticed me. I am starting to drown. My inner fear won, and I can't scream. I thought it'll be the end of me until I heard a water splash and felt a hand grabbing me towards the edge of the pool.

Freen lifted me out of the pool as I coughed holding my left calf still in pain. She understood and held my foot to reverse the cramp while continuously asking and checking if I'm okay.

When my cramp and breathing seemed to subside back to normal, she held my body towards her for a hug.

"You made me worry little bear" She whispered as she caressed my cheek. "You're okay now, I'm here" she continued.

Our friends now crowd over me to check my conditions, asking if I'm okay and how could they help.

But everyone's voice is now muffled. All I hear is my heartbeat, raging... as I look at Freen's eyes filled with worry.

Those hazel nut eyes kept staring at me while holding my hand. Her gaze felt like a vacuum, pulling my soul into her. I saw a timid reassuring smile in her lips as I looked into her. She made me feel safe, like no one or nothing can hurt me when she is with me. And that very moment I knew I loved her. I loved my best friend's big sister.

End of flashback.

I was brought back to reality when the restroom door opened. A familiar figure is now in front of me.

"Are you okay Becky?" Freen softly muttered.

I sighed and responded, "Yes I am, I'll better go now"

I am about to grab the doorknob when she abruptly spoken, "Let's talk Becky."

I turned around and replied, "what about Freen?"

"Ahmmm... F..first I'd like to apologize Becky." She reluctantly said.

"For what? For bumping with me in the hallway? If it's that, then it's all good Freen. That was an accident." I replied trying to make my words as casual as I can.

"Well not just that. First, I'm sorry for letting you think I'd hit on your step-cousin. I won't." She firmly declared.

"And yes... about that accident. I apologize as well but.. further more, you.." she paused and moved closer to me

"You said you were hurt. You said that I don't look at you, that I don't see you". Freen slowly and softly muttered.

What is she saying? Did she actually understood my true meaning on that very day? Does she know I love her? Too many questions in my mind; and my heart is starting to beat rapidly.

"What did you mean by that little bear? It pains me to know I have hurt you. But I don't understand why or how. I wanna know, I want to fix it. Let me" she continued.

"Love me then." I exclaimed, shocking me and Freen.

But I cannot backdown now., so I continued.

"You wanna fix it? Look at my way then. See how I am so in love with you. I love you for some time now. Cho..choose me over those girls."

Freen looked at me confused, then she said,

"But Becky you are Irin's best friend. You are.. you are my little bear... You..you are fa..family. My sister."

She has spoken softly almost a whisper even.
But her words, her words were so loud. So loud and painful.

It went through my ear, my mind..., my heart..., and my soul.., like an endless spear.

It pierced every fiber of my being. She can't love me back coz for her, I am just her sister.

I feel like drowning in a pool of blood, my heart is bleeding.

She saved me before, but now... she drowns me.