My Mate or My Baby Momma? Sequel to MDOMM

Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Legends

Bethany POV

I am the most disgusting, despicable waste of space slut ever.

Not only did I cheat on Deac, but I then lied to his face; I couldn’t talk, so when he confronted me about the betrayal, I said the baby might not be his.

This little thing inside me is most definitely his.

Deacon was the only guy I ever slept with at that point; I never had sex with anyone else. I did other stuff, don’t get me wrong, but I never had sex with anyone else.

I admit I was wrong. I was a slut. I couldn’t say no… I had/ have no respect for myself. I never have. Thanks to my childhood, I hate myself; I don’t think I’m worth anything. I let men see me as a sex object because that’s what I was brought up believing I was.

Should I explain?

I was sexually abused by my uncle from the age of four years old… he finally stopped when I got with Deacon- I have no idea why, but he did. He stopped, and backed right off. Uncle Frasier spent the entire time he used me, telling me I was a slut, all I was good for what opening my legs and giving men what they wanted. Nobody would ever love me. I shouldn’t expect anything more, so just let men touch me as they pleased.

The only man who ever made me feel special, whoever touched me with tenderness and love was Deacon. He held me as though I would break; he was slow, gentle and sensual. I wanted that; but I was on self-destruct. I believed Uncle Frasier. I let him treat me the way he did for all that time, and never spoke up.

I didn’t know how to!

I was scared of the repercussions.

But now, carrying Deacon’s baby; our baby, I felt so bad for my behaviour, how I treated this one guy who actually respected me. The guy who took his time, never pushed me into sex, always made it clear he was with me for me, not what I could give him… and that’s how I repay him? That’s the thanks I return?

Bitch. Serious, self-destructive whore!

Not only is this baby Deacon’s, but it’s a boy! I found out this morning, and I feel even worse, knowing Deacon wanted a son. He had always dreamed of fathering a son, to carry on the family name.

I was proud to give him that, but I did it in such a horrid way.

And he didn’t even know!

How could I tell him?

I needed to come up with something, and soon.

Something didn’t feel right today; actually it hadn’t since the day Deac confronted me, but today I just felt sick. My stomach was churning violently, and my little man was kicking with such enthusiasm I thought something was wrong!

What is going on with my body??

~*~

Walking up to the house, I know deep down I have to confront this problem, but I hate how vulnerable I’m making myself. I hate putting myself out there, knowing I’m going to get shot down. I know he’s going to shoot me down; or someone will flip me off and send me packing.

What do I do?

What should I say?

Shouldn’t I have thought about that before I came? Yeah, stupid woman! But if you had, you would’ve backed yourself out of it.

This is the only way I could actually do this.

Just heading up the long winding driveway, I see people running up the huge field-like garden, carrying something… someone?