My Mate or My Baby Momma? Sequel to MDOMM

Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Chocolate Buttons and Hula Hoops

Deacon POV

Milky tones cloud the large half-moon in the evening sky, a handful of stars scattered across the Milky Way, the zephyr breeze rustling through my hair as I sit on the ledge overlooking the leafless trees of winter beneath me.

I don’t care that it’s cold. I don’t care that I’m only in my shorts; being a wolf I can handle this weather- blowing it off without a single care- there are bigger fish to fry right now.

What the mother of everything was going on right now?

Ok, let’s try to collect my thoughts;

1.       Virginia was my mate, and accepted me for who I was- warts and all

2.       Bethany is pregnant with MY baby

3.       I was going to be a father in… 6 weeks. Damn short werewolf pregnancies! Note to self- Set Bethany up with our pack midwife

4.       Virginia and her little sister were now living with us

5.       Thanks to my unborn son; the future alpha, I am alive… I really should thank Bethany for doing that. I can’t even begin to consider how much pain she went through to save my life.

6.       I’m confused beyond anything… I couldn’t even explain the emotions bouncing around inside my brain at the moment

How could the past year have gone so insanely wrong??

If I had been bright, intuitive, and selfless, I would’ve stuck it out, not gotten myself into a relationship with a damned human and waited respectfully for my mate to come along.

I was to be the alpha of our pack; I needed the respect from my peers, but now I’m showing myself up as a stupid inconsiderate teen who can’t keep it in his pants.

As odd as it sounds, I feel like my mum right now.

She told me about how her relationships with Declan and my dad’s; how difficult and confusing it was to comprehend two important people in her life, and not being able to choose.

The only difference here is that Bethany is not my mate; she is my ex, but also the mother of my child. I respected her for continuing with the pregnancy at least.

I knew, it had been drummed into me that my first born son would be the heir to the rank, and if I lost my son, he was miscarried or aborted in some way; no other male in the bloodline would fill his place. This boy… my son, he would become the leader of our pack and needed my support, my love and attention in order to fulfil his role successfully.

Future alpha, future dad and a mate who is not the mother of my child…

FUCKED UP DEAC, YOU REALLY BLOODY WELL FUCKED THIS ALL UP.

I scolded myself over and over, swearing internally at myself, knowing I had done so much shit in the past year that I regretted. That I knew I couldn’t take back.

“Will you stop beating yourself son, you know you made some mistakes but you’ve owned up to it. That’s the most mature thing you’ve done. Now use that remorse and fix it.” Of course, if I’m the one scolding myself, my father would join in!

“But how dad? I’ve well and truly messed up… I have no idea how to fix things,” I refuse to look up at him but I can feel his presence beside me. Throwing my hands up and covering my face, my head shakes in odium. I can’t believe it took me this long to understand my idiocy… it took me knowing I was about to become a father to let the fog clear and see myself for what I am; a disgrace.