Emison: Promises

Chapter 8: Maybe I shouldn't come back

*I think you should listen to this song by Demi Lovato called Shouldn't come back. I think it goes well with the chapter. I know it's short I apologise but I'll do my best to update tomorrow!!! I realise it's not that good but it needed to be written! 

Don't forget to vote or leave comments thanks !!! :)

xxx -C *

Emily's POV

As soon as I exited the parking lot, there was only one place I wanted to go but I know I couldn't. She would find me too easily. So I just go home. I march up to my room and slam my door. After I sent that text I felt horrible. It's like I had to watch myself rip their hearts out and then rip my own heart out and set them on fire. It was horrible but it had to be done. I didn't actually delete their numbers. I never could. I hate that I also had to send that text to the girls, but if I didn't then they would try to help me and they would convince me to talk to the two and I can't deal with that. At least not right now.

I lay down on my bed and just lay there, letting the tears silently stream down my face. It hurt me so much to do that. But I had to.

I need to be away from her for a while. As much as my heart aches for her, my mind knows better and I can't go back to her. She's already put me through too much. Even if she won't do that to me again, I can't be dependant on her. I know that if I even stay remotely close to all of them I'll become the same Emily I was before Alison 'died'. I'll do anything and everything for her, I won't stand up for myself and there are strong chances I end up back in the closet. And I don't want her to be able to do that to me. I need to be my own. I haven't been single in... I don't even remember. I've always had someone there. I mean after Maya died, I had hookups although I never told the girls mainly because I was too drunk to even remember the name of the hookups. Then there was Paige, Samara, Paige again, Talia... Ok so maybe Spencer was right... I do get around. But that's not the problem at hand, I remind myself. All I want is to prove to them, me and her that I don't need to be with someone. Really. I just can't deal with the heart ache anymore. If what takes for me to truly get through this mess my heart and mind have tangled themselves in is to be mean to the ones I love and create space then that's what I'll do. I hate this. I hate love. I hate being away from Hanna and her humour. I hate being away from Spencer and her smartness. I hate being away from Aria and her sympathy. I hate being away from them. I hate what she does to me. That's why I'm doing this so that I'm no longer under her spell. I will brake it, I know I will.

'' BITCH!!! OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR RIGHT NOW BEFORE I SMASH IT DOWN!!!!!! '' Oh no. Hanna's voice is angrier than I've ever heard. I know she's capable of smashing it. I get up and look at myself in the mirror. Shit, my eyes. They'll give me away, they're too red and puffy. I grab my sunglasses off my dresser and put them to cover my emotions. I go downstairs to greet my best friend with my coldest demeanour possible. I hope I can get through this. I was always closer to her than the others. I just hope she doesn't see through me.

I open the door.

'' What the fuck?! Do you not know how to read, Hanna?!?!?! I knew you were dumb but fuck that's a whole new level!'' I throw at her. Hurt replaces the anger that was initially in her eyes. Hanna hated people thinking she was stupid and I knew coming from me it made it worse.

'' How could you?'' She breaks down in front of me. Keep it together Emily! You can't give in!!! Remember why you're doing this!

'' How could I what?'' I try to sound annoyed

'' After everything we've been through how could you just get up and leave!!! She's your best friend. You loved her'' Love, i think to myself '' How can you abandon us! You bitch!!! We stood by you through everything! We never let you down!!! I thought we would always be there for each other!'' She's yelling tears gushing down her face.