Chapter 50: Screwing... Up

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*I apologise in advance...*

Emily's POV

'' THEN WHAT THE FUCK IS IT EMILY??? WHAT IS HAPPENING TO US??? TELL ME WHAT I NEED TO DO TO FIX THIS!'' she yells

'' It's not something that can be fixed...'' I mutter heart-broken

'' Sorry what was that? You finally found your voice, now speak up'' she steps up to me and pokes my chest.

I finally muster the courage to look up. My eyes burn and I can feel the tears gather.

'' I said 'It's not something that can be fixed' '' I croak

'' What do you mean?'' she steps away from me a hand over her heart as though it could somehow protect her... I'm such a fucking jerk! I hate myself! She has the right to know and I hate what I'm about to do... But it has to be done

'' I mean I screwed up...''

Her bottom lip starts to quiver as her voice trembles '' What?'' A single tear falls down her face '' Please... Don't say it...''

I shake my head as I look back at my feet '' I'm so sorry Ali! I don't know what happened!''

'' It better not be what I'm thinking!'' she threatens distraught

'' I'm sorry Ali'' I break down and sit on the couch behind me. I grab my head in my hands and try and control my tears. I look up at her '' I'm so so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you, Princess''

She covers her hand over her mouth, trying to stifle a sob

'' We'd just had a fight and I was mad and disappointed in you, in me, in us! I got drunk and she was there and I know those aren't excuses and I know I fucked up but I didn't mean to!''

'' No no no no no no no no no no no no no'' she keeps whispering over and over. I get up and make my way over only for her to push me away with force '' How could you?!?!'' she cries holding back tears

'' I'm so sorry Ali! I didn't mean to! I screwed up but I still love you ok?! I've stayed away from her ever since! The guilt was just killing me and I knew I had to tell you I just didn't know how or when! I fucking hate myself for what I did but I'm so sorry!''

'' Who was it? lemme guess... Quinn? The cute blonde cheerleader who's so skinny and is perfectly shaped!'' she spits in my face

I look at her the tears now running down my face. I'm not even trying to control any of them

'' Please... Alison... Babe... Princess...'' I try and take a few steps towards her but she moves away until her back hits the fireplace '' I stopped it before it went to far... I know it's not enough... But it's something... I love you so much Alison! Please! I swear it meant nothing! It wasn't planned it just happened! I regret it so much! Please! I promise it'll never happen again!'' I beg clutching my hands together and looking into her eyes

'' Promise?!?!'' she huffs '' Do you realise the number of promises you fucking broke Emily Fields?!?!'' she shrieks wiping her tears away

Ok... So that was a bad choice of words...

'' You promised me to always be there and then you left! You promised I'd never feel alone and when you left I felt lost! You promised me you'd never hurt me, well guess what you've just ploughed through me like a truck! You promised you'd never cheat on me, especially with her, and oh! would you fucking look at that!!!!!'' she breaks down

'' Alison... I screwed up! I know! But please I'm begging you! I love you! And I fucking hate myself for this! I wish I could take it back I wish I could have kept all those promises! I love you Alison Lauren DiLaurentis... You're my happy ending, remember?'' I attempt my voice soft

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