Me: Hello everyone and welcome to 'Know It All'. Today we are here with the WHOLE cast of Finding The Carrot King. Please welcome Emma, Louis, Niall, Liam, Zayn, Momma Tommo, Becca, Bella, Elizabeth, Harry, Eleanor and Perrie.
*enters stage*
Me: okay. How is everyone tonight?
Everyone: Great.
Me: good. Lets start with Louis over their. So Louis I heard you and El are back together.
Lou: Yes we are Lana. Her and I made up and now are happy in love.
Me: Greeat. But arent you like a little skeptical about her?
El: I know I did wrong but Lou loves me and thats all I want.
Me: *gasp* Lou loving you? Pla-eeeasse! You faked a pregnancy, who would EVER love you?
~El cries and runs off the stage~
Lou: Your a hobnocker!
~Lou exits the stage~
Me: *clears throat* Anywho.... Emma how are you?
Em: Good I guess. The kids are a handful but I have an amazing guy helping me.
Me: Aw. Well I cant wait to write that part of the script.
Em: Yeah... By the way when will write the part when-
Me: Silence she-devil! You will not tell the story to the fans!
Em: What did you just call me?!
Me: Are you stupid? Because I did not create a retarded character....yet.
Em: I will not deal with this! Almost everday I have to deal you but NOT TODAY!!
~Emma stomps off stage~
Me: Welp. Becca I heard you have some sad news to announce.
Bec: Yes I do Lana. Beth and I will be going on a double date/vacation with our men. So we wont be on Finding The Carrot King any time soon.
Me: But you will be on the up coming chapter?!
Bet: Oh yes we will. We just need...time to cope with something.
Me: Did I ask you?
Bel: No but I-I just thought I would pop in-
Me: get the @$&# off my stage.
Bet: what...
Me: GET. DA. FUCK. OFF. DA. STAGE!
Bec: come on Bet OBVIOUSLY some one is PMSing.
~Twins exit stage~
Me: Ugh! I just wanna slap a @$&#%!
Liz: And we will be back after the break!
~Theme song: Blurred Lines~
*Backstage*
"But L-lou she said no one would ev-ever love me!" El cried.
"..Like really Beth who does she think she is?" Bec questioned.
"Mum where are our dadies?" Child A asked. (im still not tellin' yall the gender)
"They are on stage okay babe. But dont worry we will go home soon."
*On Stage*
Me: Hello everyone and welcome back to 'Know It All'. Today we are here with the cast of Finding The Carrot King. So Harry our sources say that you have a special lady now.
Har: Yes I do Lana. She has a lovely personality and all together wonderful.
Me: Hmm. Well audience if you want to be Harry's lucky girl in the upcoming chapters, just PMme @Girlygirlyolo. Now Niall how is life going?
Ni: Um..pretty good may I say. Tour and everything has been a rollercoaster though.
Me: yeah yeah yeah, dont really care. Zayn. Perrie. Congratz on the engagement!
Zay and Per: Thanks dear x
Me: Zayn did you pop the question just so Perrie will let you POP her cherry?
Zay: Wha-what! No that is not true Lana! Perrie and I have had sex before, JUST for your information.
*Audience gasp*
Per: Zayn Malik! Why the @$&# would you tell the WHOLE world that?
Zay: Perrie I-I didnt mean to say that. Its just that-
Per: Save it Malik.
~Perrie exits the stage~
Zay: Greeeat. Thanks alot Lana!
~Zayn exits stage~
Me: ANYTIME! REMEMBER MY NUMBER IS (209)-*censored*-!
Liz: hey Niall wanna go to Nandos? I heard that there is one down the street.
Me: wait. What.
Ni: Sure Liz, lets go.
~ Liz and Ni exit stage~
Me: ugh. Momma Tommo congratz on the Twins. *sarcastically congratz*
MT: Thanks. I really appreciate it.
Me: Yeeaah, you shouldnt.
~Lou runs back on stage~
Lou: sorry everyone but shows over. We have to start rehearsing chapter 22.
Me: WTF. You cant just-
~Theme Song~
Me: David turn the song off!!
Everyone: Goodbye everyone!
Me: No No No! David remember who pays your rent!!!
David: ...and CUT!
Author Note:
Lol. Hey everyone it is I, Lana. This whole shindig was just for fun. Everything rude said in this chapter was JUST for fun. Please dont call One Direction's lawyer and send this to em'.
Oh and if you DID read this chapter, than you would of seen the part with Harry's girlfriend. So if you want to be in the story PM me or comment below.
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Finding The Carrot King
FanfictionI just want to get away.....Its like the abuse never stops. My step-dad abuses me almost every day. He tells me that I'm worthless and no one will ever love me......My step-mother is worse! She beats me, cuts me, puts burnt cigarettes on my face and...
