Thicker Than Ink

Thirty Seven

When my eyes had opened this morning I had almost been shocked to find my sweet clingy Princess right where he belongs, curled up in my arms still fast asleep... His body nearly underneath mines with how close he's managed to push himself onto our cuddle... And the smile on my face is still plastered to my face even now... My hands busy chopping the vegetables for this morning's omelets while my mind does it's best to pay attention to the knife in my hands and making sure that my sweet Bean is still sleeping peacefully in bed right where he belongs while I try and make sure that our breakfasts head in a more nutritious route now that he's eating for two and Addy shouldn't be subsisting off of mostly chocolate and sex and cuddles... Not that I would mind if we could...

I know in the end it's all for the best and I know that my Princess will be delighted with whatever I put on his plate as long as it doesn't have cilantro in it because he's never really been fond of it no matter how hard he tries to convince me that he actually enjoys it when Agatha feels the need to stop by with a bowl of her pasta salad whenever there's a celebration at the North Pine compound and she doesn't want him to miss out on his childhood favorite... Though I think she's more than aware that to Addy it tastes mostly like soap and he's just too kind to say so because it used to be the same recipe that his Mom loved and he knows it... My mate truly is the sweetest Bean I know...

It doesn't take long to make sure that the red and green bell peppers are all the same size, and that the ham is sufficiently broken up so I don't need to struggle with it and have to worry about the egg overcooking while I'm trying to break it up... The cheese already grated and sitting in a bowl ready to be loaded into today's breakfast in an amount that hopefully makes my little Morning Glory glow with appreciation over its yumminess and the unexpected savory greeting he's getting this morning instead of our usually sweet go-to's.

Thinking about my Cutie Pie while I whisk the eggs and pour them into the pan almost leads me to setting my hand down on the part of the stove that gets too hot to touch while the burners are on and catch myself in just the nick of time... My eyes opening themselves just a little bit wider as I try and pull my head down from the clouds it's currently resting in surrounded by thoughts of my Princess who is currently still slumbering so soundly after being held all night just like he needs to be...

We hadn't even made love last night... It just was a slow night full of melty kisses whenever one of us woke up and needed extra affection... Our hold on each other's bodies shockingly tender as we reassured each other that we're both okay... That everything is okay and that we'll stay okay... That we love each other and that neither one of us is leaving... Something that both of us had needed to hear... Something that surprised me when I had felt a knot unravels in my chest when the words had so softly drifted from Addy's beautiful lips up to my ears, the two of us tangled closely and intimately...

The moments we shared last night had been far from sexual... But it had brought us both closer together... We had managed to soothe the rest of any upset out of our souls, and it had lifted a weight from our shoulders being able to just lay there in the dark, holding each other and being honest... Telling each other all of the reasons that we're staying... Pointing out positives... And all of the tiny habits that we have that we love about each other...

It had been intimate in a way that I think a lot of people don't appreciate enough... It had been pure tenderness... And while it could have easily led to the two of us clawing at each other to make love with how desperately we had been holding on to each other... But it had stayed sweet and innocent... The kisses we had shared had been slow... And emotional...

Addy hadn't been the only one to shed a few tears...

Last night had been so special... Special in a way that I'm not sure I'll ever really be able to explain to anyone else who's never had the same thing happen... We had been so honest that some of the words had been painful to say...

The second time we had woken up Addy had taken the time to really explain what had been going on in his head the other night when he had felt the need to put the door between us and lock it to keep me out when he had gotten scared from me loosing my temper... And how going through a drop at the same time as having one of his biggest fears rush to the forefront of his mind had been so overwhelming that he had nearly gone numb with the pain that had overtaken him... How his mind had jumped right to the worst case scenario of him having to raise our baby on his own because I had run off in anger and gotten myself hurt like his parents had... How he felt like he wasn't prepared to raise a child on his own and how terrifying it was that the thoughts wouldn't stop even after I came back inside...

The deeper insight had been something he had been too shy to really elaborate on in the light of day... But my Bean had managed to get it off his chest and I was able to assure him that I won't ever walk out the door angry ever again... And that I'll be doing my damndest to make sure that he never has a reason to be afraid like he was that night ever again...

We had decompressed fully under the night's heavy sky and woke up better for it... Addy's day about to start with affection and a good breakfast both things he had mentioned as habits he appreciated when we had been building each other back up after both of us having fallen apart.