Thicker Than Ink

Eleven

Agatha's words had stunned me so much that for a minute I didn't know the right words to use in order to shoot her offer down... The house is our safe space... A space that we occasionally open so that we don't have to leave the house to socialize... But still our space... A space that we prefer to have just on our own and to ourselves... 

In the end though... It turns out that I don't have to figure out how to tank her proposal because Addy does it for me, his face turned up into one of the most drippingly sweet smiles I've ever seen from him, every ounce of it genuine as he says, "Grammy... I love you to bits and pieces... But there is no way in hell that you or anyone else is moving into this house. This is our home... And while it's perfectly fine for everyone to visit... We want to be selfish and keep those moments after bringing baby home to ourselves so we can bond as a family."

I almost expect Agatha to get mad... Or maybe even cry... The look on her face blank for a few seconds and completely unreadable to me... My Sugar Pop's hand seeking out mine to give it a squeeze before continuing, "I hope you and the guys understand... We were also hoping to have the first few weeks just to ourselves. No visitors. You all can come see us while still at the clinic, but after we come home I want all of us to be able to nest without being... disrupted. Please don't be mad."

...

Adrian

... 

I have to bite the edge of my lip in my nervousness, but for the first time in ever, I felt perfectly capable of making clear this boundary in a way that Grammy won't be able to twist or ignore... A boundary that I want everyone to follow. 

Silas and I hadn't talked too much about the finer details of things yet beyond possible names and my sweet Daddy making sure that the two of us are financially set for the added expenses that will come with welcoming our teeny tiny Bean into the world... But I know my mate too well... And with finally being honest with myself, I know my own wants better now as well... And neither one of us would be very comfortable with other people in the house when there will already be a big change happening... I know that I will want every moment with our nugget that I can get... And I know that Silas feels the same... And even knowing that it'll be long nights and midnight feedings... We want all of it... We want the tired, and the crying, and all of the little firsts that we might miss if we were to let anyone else call this place home even if it is just for a little while... I don't want to let someone else in knowing that they could be the first one to see my nugget smile... Or hear them laugh... We want all of the good moments that come with the stressful moments... And we'll end up getting a lot less of those moments if we have help... Even if it's just as hard as I know it can be.

"I'm not mad Chipmunk... I think I can understand what you mean... Just know... That the offer will always be on the table and that you can change your mind if you want to. Me and those boys are only a phone call away... But I better be the first one you call, got it? I want as much time with my cute little grandbaby as I can get. And I mean it." It takes a long few moments before Grammy actually responds to me... The hurt I can see in the back of her eyes making me feel almost as guilty as the sadness I can hear in her voice... 

I know she just wants to help... That she and the guys are just as excited for us as we are and that they only want to make sure that we don't get overwhelmed... And I'm sure that after a few months we might consider letting them start taking turns spending the night so they can get time with Chipmunk Jr., but I'm glad that Grammy isn't going to fight me on where we stand on the idea at the moment... My smile to her bringing up one of her own, all of us taking a moment to sip on our now lukewarm tea to let my words and her reaction settle in the air... 

...

Silas

...

It never gets old seeing Adrian stand up for what he wants... It's charming even... And the way it never fails to make me smile because for all of his sweetness he's got a fire inside of him that I don't think anyone ever actually expects from him... Being raised by his Grammy of all people you would think that more people would realize how sassy he is... And how firm he can be when the moment calls for it... 

I think we both expected Agatha to push back on this... Her iron will exactly where my Sugar Snap gets his Snap from... But she hadn't even pushed back a little on the matter... For which I'm grateful. I don't think either of us would have been able to keep our celebration happy if she had stormed out of here fuming and angry and ready to start drama... So it's nice that she's finally understood that she needs to pick her battles when it comes to us because Addy is grown and can make his own decisions. 

"Thank you." The words I had expected to come from Addy himself end up falling from my lips instead, and I think it takes us all a little by surprise with how strange it sounds, the two of us normally not finding much to thank each other for... The smile that she gives me an actual one... A real one... 

One that drives home the point I think she was trying to make... 

That we aren't alone in this pregnancy... 

Or after.

It won't be like with Ma and how no one helped her and Pop was always gone... 

Our support system is only a phone call away.