Thicker Than Ink

Fifty Seven (18+)

Even with Liam following us home with every intention of him and Agatha tending to Addy just long enough to situate my head a bit better on my shoulders and out of the numb depths that I've been swimming in since this afternoon... But the moment we pulled in all I could think about was what happened in the backyard...

All I could think about was seeing Pop limp closer... The smell of his blood still lingering in the air so strongly that it hung heavy in my nose even without opening the door...

It was overwhelming... My mind choosing to replay listening to Ma cry on the phone and hearing Pop yip and cry out in pain... The sight of almost all of our towels sitting in the grass... All of them so soaked though that the sound they made when Cas and Liam swapped them out and tossed the useless ones away that they sounded wet when they hit the ground...

I couldn't even wait for Agatha to throw the truck in park... I couldn't stop and take the time to unbuckle Addy and carry him inside... I just... I needed to not be outside... I needed to not be smelling Pop's blood on the wind... And spiraling out over the sight of our front lawn even though it wasn't even involved in any of the carnage...

Before I even realized what I was doing the passenger door was pushed open as fast as I could manage to do it after ripping off my seatbelt the moment the tires rolled to a stop... I don't even remember if I shut the front door while making my dash inside...

I just... I needed to get inside... I needed to not be confronted by everything out there anymore... Not if I want my heart to start beating normally again...

My anxiety feels so out of control that I barely pay attention to anything inside and I just try to focus on getting to our bedroom... The safest place in the whole house... The haunting smell of Pop unsurprisingly still chasing my nose, the new add-on still needing the glass panes to be hung in some of the special windows we had worked into the design of the library itself to give Addy more light...

This time... When I shut the door to the bedroom I know for certain that it's been done, my eyes able to dart over and check that it's been done not once but twice before skipping around the rest of the room to try and figure out where I need to be to try and calm myself down... Nothing jumping out at me immediately, my wolf telling me that we need to find somewhere dark... Somewhere small and tight that can help us feel protected while he tries to figure out why my body feels like we're in danger from what I think might be the worst panic attack I've ever had...

...

Adrian

...

I know that it was shocking for Grammy when Silas so suddenly bolted from the cab of the truck... But I had actually been wondering if he might...

She hadn't been able to pay attention to him while driving... But I had been able to watch him the whole time... The trembling of his hands only getting worse the closer we got to home... The way he had turned a bit green when we had pulled into the drive... And then the way he had gone pale... His body tensing... His wolf pacing back and forth so intently that I could feel his unease from our link, his wolf's distress causing a whole new round of distress in my own other half...

What had been surprising though... Was that instead of running for the treeline so he could shift and let his wolf be free to work off the stress and steam that's been building up all afternoon... He didn't head for the trees at all...

He ran inside as if he couldn't get in the house fast enough... As if he was trying to outrun the memory of what happened here outside today... And in the state I'm in I can't even run after him... I have to be careful with myself, even as my heart shatters in my chest over the amount of pain and confusion I feel radiating from my mate... None of it asked for and none of it deserved...

All I can do is lean into the hug when Grammy gives it... Her fingers careful as she uses her sleeve to catch some of the tears that insist on leaking from my eyes no matter how hard I try and stop them, "It's going to be okay, Chipmunk... It might not feel like it right now... But eventually, it will... You're both just hurting right now... Thats all... Silas is hurting right now... And so are you... And I am so sorry about that... I really, really am..."

We stay this way only for a few seconds... Just long enough for me to steady myself with her familiar scent and the gentleness that she always seems to work so hard to keep hidden from everyone else... And then it's time for me to let Grammy help pull me out of the cab of the truck, Liam stepping in to help after he finishes parking his own car off to the side from where he normally parks... All of us nervous as we walk through the door Sigh had left open in his pain and panic... Liam being the one to shut it behind us as he whispers for me and Grammy to stay put for just a minute where we are just in case Silas has shifted... His wolf possibly not going to be the kindest to Grammy in his panic since they haven't been introduced just quite yet... My presence needed by her side to try and prevent anything from happening since he wouldn't ever hurt me...

No matter how distressed and anxiety-filled either half of him is...