Thicker Than Ink

Fifty One

It... It had been just the tiniest bit overwhelming... Connecting myself fully to the pack link so that Quinn could guide me to Bethany's house while he stayed behind at our house to clean things up... And to wash Mason's blood out of the grass as best he can so Silas won't have to see it when we get back...

But somehow I had managed to get through the strange feeling of having everyone's voices in my head and completely unfiltered... Silas too distressed at the moment to aid me in blocking out all of the random chatter... The openness of the link so vastly different than what I was used to as just an Omega... And so much louder than the filtered version I've grown used to as Luna... Several minds having noticed that something isn't quite right... Those people pushing me for answers I don't really know if I should give or not...

I know there isn't any shame in how Silas is reacting... But I don't ever want the pack to think he might break down like this every time something bad happens because I know he's only catatonic... Because the something bad that happened had happened to his parents... One of them having been rebuilding her relationship with him... The other one finally having heard the words Silas had needed to say to him to finally feel free of the pain Mason's negligence towards him caused...

I don't think he would want them to have this mental image of him in their heads... He might feel as though it would cut through the laid-back authority that he's used up until this point to guide them all... It might jeopardize the faith they have in him as a leader... And that's the kind of fallout that no one actually needs right now...

Even if being Alpha hasn't ever really been what he's wanted to spend his life doing, the pack is still important to him whether or not he even realizes how much he cares about everyone... Even holding them at arm's length the way he does... He cares...

Albeit... He cares a bit quieter than most Alpha's do... He still cares... I just don't think sharing this moment of weakness with everyone as it's still playing out would really be the best time to show the rest of the pack just how sensitive he really is... This moment is more of waiting for everything to calm down just a bit so that way everyone hears him when Liam makes the announcement for everyone to be on the lookout for poachers...

I'm not sure if he's already reached out to the people currently shifted and on runs... There's too much coming through on my end to really make out who is saying what and to whom...

It's definitely something I should be concerned about, but I'm not sure how to even approach it right now as we pull into the driveway of Bethany's house with Silas white-knuckling the strap of his seatbelt in anticipation of hopping out of the car as soon as it's in park and not a second later...

As soon as we're inside and he can see that Bethany is still in one peace I'll try to reach out to Liam over the current noise level in my mind and see if he knows about the three wolves currently headed west or if he's already warned them to shift and head back home and they're just taking the long way to try and wind their wolves down just a bit more before inquiring about what the hell is going on...

I want to worry about it... I want to pretend that I have enough mental and emotional energy to handle what really is an important thing... But somehow I feel crippled almost... Like between balancing Silas while he's in shock and trying to not freak out over seeing that much blood coming out of a person I actually know somewhat and who had helped me before at the conference not too long ago... All of that... Topped off with just how upset my stomach is over everything... And the fact that  I feel like I'm spread too thin trying to quiet the pack link down just enough for me to take a second to decompress...

It feels like too much for me... Especially to handle it on my own...

I don't have a single second to spare though... The moment the truck rolls to a stop behind Bethany's tiny little compact car Silas is practically clawing at his safety belt to get it off, his hands just a bit too numb to really undo the buckle without my help before he's up and gone out the door... Rushing to his mother's side just like I had wanted to when Grammy and Granpa had sat me down to tell me that the reason why Mommy and Dad weren't responding to me through our family link was that... Was because something bad had happened...

And I find myself flinging myself out of the driverside right after him, the keys almost getting left in the ignition after I put the truck in park... His panic making me feel panicked... My chest tight as my feet follow his...

My throat just as tight as my stomach seems to want to be as he wastes absolutely no time trying to properly unlock her door, his shoulder being used instead of the key to force his way inside just as I get close enough to hear the same cries that I had been listening to over the phone... And I don't blame him... Not one bit... We can fix the damn door... Bethany is more important than a slab of wood and a doorframe...

For once... I don't think anyone, including Bethany, will be mad... Not with the look of relief on her tearstained face that blooms when she sees us after we fling ourselves through the hallway leading to the kitchen where she had told me she had first felt the pain... Still doubled over on her knees like she had told me she was... Still crying... One hand clutching her midsection the other one reaching out to Silas just as soon as he's close enough to take it...