𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐔𝐒 , 𝐋𝐔𝐊𝐄 𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍

𝟚𝟜 , what a time

yay 22k!! i love love love you all!!
this song & the video make me sob, so found it fitting
what's a song that always makes you sob your heart out?
a) your answer :,(

♥ ♫ ♥ ♫ ♥

1995. what a time.
"I feel a little nauseous and my hands are shaking
I guess that means you're on my mind
My throat is getting dry and my heart is racing
I haven't been by your side in a minute,
but I think about it sometimes
Even though I know it's not so distant
Oh, no, I still wanna reminisce it"

it hadn't even been two months after you had lost the boys, but you had felt like your body had lost all function, your life all purpose. everytime the auburn eyed boy would come up in your head, which was often, the same feeling would come over you.

nauseous. shaky. tired. lost. broken.

you sat in your usual chair, in your bedroom, and scribbled your anger down on the lined paper of your songbook. no amount of vicious scribbling or tears could cure the pain inside though.

i think of the night in the park, it was getting dark, and we stayed up for hours
What a time, what a time, what a time
You clinged to my body like you wanted it forever
What a time, what a time, what a time."

what a time it was, you had thought back then, to be in love and happy. to go on your picnic dates with luke, and feel his heartbeat against your own. to know that the universe had wanted you together. had made you for each other.

For you and I
What a time, what a time
For you and I

I know we didn't end it like what was planned
And now i get a bit tense
I wonder if my mind just leaves out all the bad parts
all i know is that we made sense
I admit it that I think about it sometimes
Even though I know it's so distant
Oh, no, I still wanna reminisce it

even a year after, the bad parts of his memory seemed to not exist, and it only made it harder for your mind to cope. replaying his smile, his laugh, his presence.

and now his unavoidable, constant, absence.

I think of the night in the park, it was getting dark
And we stayed up for hours
what a time, what a time, what a time.

it seemed like the universe had made you two for each other, but now it had all felt like a trick. a lie.

You clinged to my body like you wanted it forever
What a lie, what a lie, what a lie.

the last few words were scribbled so viciously it was hard to read, and the bottom of the paper was curled up and discolored from your tears.

For you and I
What a lie, what a lie
For you and I
For you and I

you had wrote this song in your worst state, when you had lost everything. no amount of time with family or the acquaintances you managed to keep other than the boyband could make you feel an ounce of what you had with them. everything you were was gone. everything you loved had left.

everything you lived for had died.

what a lie. what a lie. what a lie.