love on the brain [Jackson Avery]

7: big eyed fish

7x10

Everyone told Cristina how she should react since the shooting. They didn't say it, but I knew they all thought that all of them went through the same trauma and that her reaction was not okay. But I hated that.

The truth is that, not everyone will understand your pain. They may claim to, but they don't and they won't. Because your pain is different from theirs and theirs is different from yours. A lot of times it happens that, when you talk about your pain, you're told that others have been through the same or worse. They may relate to you on a general level, but what you've been through and what they've been through is different at the end of the day. Because their pain on their scale may be bigger but your heart is different. So don't let them compare your story to theirs. You're not competing on pain. Understanding is built on the basis of having felt what someone felt or simply in the art of just listening to them, not belittling their pain by telling them "that's nothing" or "I've been through worse".

That was the reason I was standing in the middle of a lake with Derek and Cristina. The least thing i could do for the person who saved my brother was being there for here. Making sure she felt understood. Cristina didn't need someone to push her by force out of the rock bottom. She needed someone to stand by her and patiently wait. And fishing was all about patience. Even though she wasn't too keen on it.

-You know the fish can hear you?- Derek told her- did you read about that in your research? Fishing is supposed to be quiet.

-Is this a spinnerbait?- she whispered and I laughed.

-I'm not quizzing you. I'm fishing.

-What about you, McBaby?- I looked at her and shook my head.

-You're not fun- she stared at the lake- maybe we should move the boat over to the other side of the lake.

-Nop- my brother answered- this is a good spot.

-For tanning maybe- she said with annoyance- is this typical? I mean, to go for hours without a bite?

-You need to be patient, Cristina- I stated with my eyes put on my fishing rod- the only thing predictable about fishing is that it's unpredictable.

-I thought you well- Derek said proudly.

-Wow. That's deep- Cristina mocked and I rolled my eyes.

-C'mon, Cristina- I smiled- just use this time to ponder. Quietly. Enjoying this wonderful view.

-You want me to throw up?- I gave her a look.

She started to ramble again talking about why we should change our spot.

-Just stop! Stop talking- Derek stopped her- stop worrying, stop thinking. Stop.

-Can we just try it my way? Please...