Random word of the day X

Jan 13th

Word of the day:Hinderance

I was sitting at the kitchen table with Luci on my lap.

"Shhh, baby girl, it's ok." I said, comforting her.

"No it's not! Kris is gonna kick me out!"

"No he's not. I'm here, I'll protect you. I'm in charge Luci, he can't hurt you."

"He can! It my fault! We don't have that kind of money."

"Luci honey, they were torturing you. You couldn't help it."

"But now we have to leave!"

"I thought you'd had enough of this house?"

"I have but now we have to go to another shit house in another shit place and wait for shitty Smith to track us down. I can't do it anymore Kemi, I can't keep running. I can't keep fighting.

I try to be brave like you, or Dani, or even Kris but I can't. Nancy told me she didn't want me here. She told me I was less of a help and more of a HINDERANCE. He doesn't stop. He is always tracking us. What did I do wrong Kemi? Why does he want me! I can't do anything!

Sure, I can build a gun. I don't want to do this anymore. I can't deal with the not knowing. Every day I wake up and think 'is this it? Is he gonna get us today?' But it never is and I just don't think I can deal with it. He has more contacts than we do. Because of him we went from citizens of the uk to refugees in seconds. He can do whatever he wants.

While I was there, he showed me around where he keeps people like us. He hasn't got a mechanic. He said I could see you from time to time. He said I'd have freedom. He said I could walk down the street without looking over my shoulder and thinking 'is he here? Can he see me?'. He told me I could go into a shop without thinking 'will they recognise me from the poster. Will they give me to him?'. Kemi, I'd be able to walk down the road without running from the police because I'm a refugee.

Dad died because he wanted us to lead a real life. I can't lead a real life trapped in here. I couldn't lead a real life no matter what. What's the point of us being here, us doing this, if we can't get away? I've always wanted to help the resistance, to be a part of the resistance, but I don't think I can. I try and try to help you. But it doesn't work. I can't do anything useful for us. We already have weapons, heck, we have more weapons than we know what to do with. I've done my job here. I can't do anymore.

I was on a computer the other day, looking through a list of songs from the past hundred years. I found one by Pink. It's called try. It say that no matter what you've got to try, and I get that. But I have tried. I've tried so hard to cope with this. But I'm not denying it anymore. I can't take the stress. I can't take this as a whole. I don't want to leave, but I don't feel like I have a choice." she said.

Wow, that was... Wow.

"I just wish..." I said but she interrupted me.

"You want to know what I wish Kemi? I wish the rebellion hadn't happened. I wish that Smith was still small and insignificant. I wish that I wasn't me. Why couldn't I just be a normal girl Kemi? This is too hard. I can't take it!" she shouted and burst into tears.

"Luci, you don't have to be with us. If you want to go to Smith you can go. I'm not going to stop you. Luci, I understand. This life would be hard for an adult to live. But you're thirteen. I didn't want this to happen but I understand."

Yeah, I understood. Smith had her brainwashed. All that shit about freedom made me cringe. She would be as free as a bird in a cage. She could have done so much. But with the promise of freedom she wouldn't listen to me. I wasn't going to force her to come with us.

"You can stay here then Luci. I love you, I'd do anything for you, but I'm not going to change you're mind on this. If you want to be someone's property then fine, but I don't. I'm not going to wait here with you for Smith, I ain't going to wait down the road in as car for you. You can do whatever you want, but I'm not getting caught with you. You stay here. But I'm leaving. And don't try to tell Smith where we go. Take this" I said chucking her a phone "it's got my, Dani's, Kris's and Smith's number on it. Me and Smith both have trackers in it, but if you tell him that, I won't be helping you at all. Ever. Once I text you, call smith and tell him exactly where you are. He can get you, but don't tell him you have to phone. Then you can either forget about us, and our plans, or you can help us by getting us information about Smith. Tell me whatever you want to do, but tell Smith any of our plans, finalised or not, and I won't hesitate in killing you. Goodbye Luci."

I walked out of the kitchen before my sister made me cry. I know I sounded like a bitch but I wanted her to come to her senses. All I needed was a call and I would be there, helping her, but if she's gonna turn into one of Smith's little goons, that was it. We would never be sisters again. She would be the enemy.

I got into the passenger side of the car, in the front, and pulled out my tablet. I'd made it myself and I was proud of it. It was untraceable, had no IP address and I could delete all files and history without touching a button. I went onto Smith's website and sent him a message.

--You've won. Luci's waiting at our old location for you. Mess with her and, I stop caring, you will be dead. I give you my word.--

He would know it was from me.

"Where's Luci?" asked Dani.

"She's not coming." I said bluntly.

"WHY NOT!" shouted Becks

"She didn't want to."

"Then you make her!" shouted Becks.

"No, Smith promised her freedom. I can't beat that."

Then my phone rang.

"Speak." I said clearly into the phone.

"It's Smith."

"What? You've got my sister, what more do you need?"

"I'm disappointed I'm you Miss Poymol."

"How so?"

"You let me take your sister without putting up any kind of fight!"

"She wanted to go."

"And..."

"You are a bastard! You offered her freedom! I can't beat that!"

"You didn't even try."

"I couldn't. She was adamant."

"fine."

"Bastard."

"Goodbye Miss Poymol."

"Goodbye Mr Smith."