Catfishing Castiel

8. Clouds & Coffins

"Shiloh." My mom's eyes were completely widened down at the table. "Where did, how-" I had already interrupted her constant stutter.

"This should be enough to cover for Rigby's burial." I sat down before her as she still seemed to process what she was looking at. "It's also gonna help with a lot of the expenses around here."

"I don't understand. Shiloh where did you get all this money? This is seven hundred dollars." Her eyes squinted up at me to observe how I was going to answer. "Are you selling drugs?"

My hands quickly went over my face in frustration which made her anxiously laugh. "Mom no, these are tips from work."

"Tips!?" Her lips pursed as she looked back in disbelief. "What do they got you doing over there? Dancing?" She teased.

I casually shrugged. "I heat up tea and prepare baths." My eyes glanced down at my bandaid as Castiel flashed into my head for some reason.

She gasped and laughed at the same time. "I don't know what you be putting in that tea for all of this, but I'm proud of you."

"So, I mean it's enough right?" I ask as she stacks the money up and puts it into some loot box.

"Enough for what?" My mom asks.

"For Rigby's burial." I reminded. "I know pet coffins can be a little pricey but this might be enough for at least a decent one, right?"

"Shiloh." My mom remained silent after saying my name as her eyes began to anxiously shift way.

"What?"

"It's just-" Her fingers quickly rubbed against her forehead as if she was struggling to come up with the words she needed to say.

"Mom what is it?" I leaned over, my face growing anxious.

She deeply sighed before finally saying the words I absolutely dreaded. "I already had Rigby cremated."

I blinked a few times to process what I just heard, feeling blood and anguish rapidly shoot through my body like a formula concocted for despair.

"W-what?" My voice cracked.

I don't understand.

Why would she do that without telling me?

I didn't even bother reacting or saying anything anymore as I just sighed and left her in the kitchen. "Shiloh." She whispered behind me, making me tighten my fists further.

The sound of my mom's voice irritated me. Her presence irritated me and every single thing she does just fucking pisses me off.

"You know for once in your life mom." My tone was sharp, booming loudly enough to catch her off guard. "I wish you cared about how I felt just like how I do with you."

Clear guilt and regret was painted over her face now as I proceeded to walk away, banging my door closed as I began to pace around my room, exhaling.

I didn't care if I seemed overly dramatic to anyone anymore. Learning about what my mom chose to do was the last straw and it instantaneously made me feel numb to everything. This wasn't me choosing to be difficult and emotional over some dead cat. This was family I've grown up with and cherished for all these years, taken away from me.

I spent the rest of the day in my room doing absolutely nothing but be in bed. Okay well, be in bed and graze over my bandaid and think about him but I still technically shut myself out from everyone.

I don't really know what to do anymore.

Everything in my life remains to be so very inconsistent and uncontrollable.