I Want To Unlove You

chapter 50

Adarsh's pov :

I settled myself on the chair in the resting area just outside operation theatre.

The operation I just assisted has lasted for more than 10 hours which drained every bit of energy left in me.

I didn't even had energy left to go grab some food...fill up my stomach which has been empty for half a day.

Just then I heard the shuffling sounds beside me...I turned towards that direction only to see Sid carrying a plate full of food bringing a grateful smile on my face.
He came here to visit me yesterday from Hyderabad.
I wonder how he even got his leaves approved when I heard the management here aren't agreeing any day offs here from my colleagues

"What's with the full fledged smile I am receiving from you bro???
Don't tell me you started loving me???
I am sorry but let me clear you...I am fully straight.
You can see the result as well." He said with a smug look on his face that I made a disgusted face.

" Bro...I don't love you ok???And even I have a wife..." I said disapprovingly.

"That's what I am saying bro...when you have a wife why are you not staying with her???
This is making me doubt on your words." He said.

I didn't know what I should say....

"Let's talk adi...it's high time you gonna talk about it." He said placing his hand on my shoulder assuringly.

But....

It's like a thorn in my heart.
Which I can't do anything about it.
I can't remove it because it may bleed to death so I just try to not to touch it oftenly.

I agree I remember every bit about her....I am still not over her.
But I also know that this love of mine is just going to bring me more pain than i already faced.

I just don't want to break down again.

The last time was a disaster...mom and dad helped me out of this.
I am thankful for them. I saw how much they struggled with me , how mom stayed up all night just to make sure I end up drinking in the middle of the the night.

How dad used to drop me off to hospital  so I could reach there safely.
I know I made them worry about me a lot.
And I don't forget what all they did for me.

I just don't want to be a burden on them again. I want our relation to be like now....happy and all.
I know I may not stay with them now but I call them everyday.
Mom's call literally makes my day as beautiful as a canvas painted by an artist.

I have said everything I could to Geetha.
I was clear at my point.
I just want to ignore her so as to ignore the consequences of heartbreak again in my life because I know once I speak to her I will again fall head over heels not caring about anything else.

I shouldn't be a fool twice.

So from last 6 months I did my part by not visiting home.
I called my dad and mom regularly.
I know I was the worst husband ever but to my defense I have already said this to her that we won't be bothering eachother. We will live separately.

I know she may be disappointed....
She might have dreams about her married life.
But she don't love me.
For me love is very important....I can't expect a man or a woman to be with eachother when there is no love.

I can stay like this...maintaining my good distance from her, learning her whereabouts from mom occasionally my whole life.
Reminiscing few of the incidents we faced...our beautiful first meet and all  are enough for me.

But if she wants to be away from me like really away....free from this relation I won't object her.
I will definitely feel so sad that I might hit a bar that night but I will give her what she want.