Okay, so uhm, hi guys I guess. Most of you all have probably heard the news. This is so hard to write because I never thought I would be writing it. At least not in 2015.
This is so difficult for me right because just thinking about it breaks me down. As you might know I am actually a Zayn girl, I wrote it in an end note of an early chapter. This is one of the worst things imaginable for me but all I want is for Zayn to be happy.
We have to stick this through guys, we have to. We have to be there for Zayn and we have to be there for Louis, Liam, Harry and Niall as well. They all need us and we need to show them all the support in the world.
I'm just so numb right now because Zayn was one of the people who saved my life. When I was in depression I remember Little Things being released and every time I wanted to cut I just listened to it and told myself that when I hurt myself, I hurt Zayn. And after thinking that way and getting stronger I've been clean for over a year. (some slip ups before).
Not only that but one year ago today my dog died and my dad just got admitted to hospital. I'm taking a small break from Wattpad because I really can't to this right now. My life is falling apart.
And I'm gonna be honest, I don't believe what management wrote. Go to my Twitter and you'll see what I believe happened (or go to @/AndrewLouer). To me it just doesn't add up. BUT I'm not saying that he isn't stressed or anything because all I care about is Zayns well being. And what do I know? (Note added a week later: I'm still not sure of what to believe happened. I need an explanation from Zayn himself. But tbh when they didn't even have one of his songs on Four it didn't surprise me that he left. You can even hear it in I Won't Mind that he's been controlled by management.)
But I just wanted to make sure you guys are okay too because I'm certainly not. Everything in my life is spiralling down.
I love you and I love Zayn. we have to push through this together. Lets be strong for our boys. Regardless of Zayn being in 1D or out of it, he's one of our boys and he'll always be a part of the real 1D. xxx
Twitter: zaynmyflawless
Tumblr: xfairydustx
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