Bitten (Harry Styles Vampire)

Chapter 32 Guardian Angel

In two days this will all be over. In two days my journey with Saoirse will end and I won't have anything left. Every single bit in me will break and I won't have anything left to live for. After little consideration I decided that that would be my end too. I will bring a stake and I will end my life there. What's the point if I can't get away from Zanita? As long as she walks the earth I will never have freedom and she's too powerful for me to take on.

The worst part is that right now she's somewhere in the world and has no clue that her short life will end. If I could I'd do anything to save her but Zanita is keeping me here. I hardly have a second to myself. I always gave myself credit for saving Saoirse's life but it lead to me ending it. I would've rather left her as a lost soul in the war. I brought this upon myself and if I don't end my own life there and then I will never forgive myself. The weight of this is constantly on me. Death, real death. No more waking up. It'll all be gone. There won't be anything left of me.

I also decided to not tell anyone. Zayn had been the only one Zanita would let me close to, I had no clue where about Liam was. If I were to tell anyone they would try to stop it and that cannot happen. I will not let Zanita torture Saoirse.

It feels strange. After over a thousand years on this earth, this'll be the end. I'm grateful for a lot of things that have blessed me during these years but in a way it's relieving coming to an end. No more hurt, no more killing, no more. But then there's always another side to that argument. No more love, no more smiles, laughter, hugs, kisses. I don't know what to expect. Is it all going to end? Or will I just sleep? Will it be like death before vampirism? Like a lingering of coming back to life?

These next 48 hours will be agonising and probably the slowest in my life, the last ones too.

"No more..." I whispered to myself, closing the book, that held my thoughts, in front if me. This would be the last one, the last book of memories and thoughts. The only one containing her, containing real love. Not some twisted, pure lust, vampire love. Real gentle human love. I felt so empty still I had filled pages of what was on my mind.

Saoirse would be the main character in my book. It's all about her. It always will be. How could she make the biggest impact on my long life when she's only been in it a couple of months?

"How do I know that I can trust you again?" She sniffled quietly, turning her tear stained face away from me. This mistake was still punishing me but I was doing everything to prove to Saoirse that I could earn her trust back.

"Because if you were in my position and told me you'd never do anything like that again, I'd believe you." She looked at me funnily. I loved the way her hair would frame her face when she didn't have it up. I was so used to always seeing pulled back from her face, I didn't want to tuck her hair behind her ear. I wanted it to frame her face like it did now.

"I want to trust you." She replied, the corners of her mouth twitching up for a millisecond. I would do anything to see her smile properly again. I lifted our intertwined hands, pressing my lips to her knuckles.

"Don't lose hope for me, please..." I begged her, laying my head in her lap. Her soft breathing told me her crying had stopped. Her small slender fingers were threading through my curls like they so often did.

"I'd never." She assured me. Her big brown eyes were staring down at me. "I'm not one to lose faith in those I love, only if they've proved me wrong. And so far, you haven't." The kindness she showed still shocked me. Zanita would have snapped my neck or even staked me.

"Let's pretend it's okay, just for this moment. Let's just pretend nothing's happened." She mumbled mostly to herself. "I'm too tired right now to think of her." Gentle as ever, she pushed me off of her. Saoirse tip toed to the bathroom, brushing her teeth. She wasn't cold towards me but she was too quiet and there was no smile on her face.

I broke her heart. What possessed me that night? It was so unlike me to lose control of my actions that way. It would never happen again, I need to fix the bond and focus on Saoirse. My guardian angel. I can't take advantage of her kindness, though I'm not used to it. I'm used to Zanita who does what she wants when she wants but doesn't let anyone else do what they want. Saoirse is the opposite, she puts others before herself almost falling off the train leaving herself at the platform.

When she exited the bathroom, she turned the light off behind her, silently climbing into bed. Unsure of what to do next I stayed in my place on the other side of the bed. I didn't want to push her too much yet I didn't want to seem like I wasn't trying enough.

"Come here." I almost couldn't hear her muffled voice in the pillows. Cautiously I crawled a little closer to her. My body rested there for a small amount of time until her hand reach out, pulling my arm around her waist. "Tonight we pretend everything is okay." She repeated once more before closing her eyes.

This was a small opportunity and I kissed her beneath her ear, whispering a small goodnight before cuddling closer to her warm body.

Even at the worst of times she would offer me comfort or some sort of closeness. Like a slap in the face the thought of that I, me, was going to end her life hit me. My eyes stung horribly, the water in them welling over and running down my face. I couldn't do it. There was no way I could look at her again and use force against her, I couldn't. But failing this mission wasn't an option. Zanita will never get it into her thick fucking scull that I don't love her anymore. There is someone better for me than her.

I stared around me. Would they read these, there are so many. I knew Zanita would. She'd seek out the newest one just to search for Saoirse's name. My body felt heavy and it was difficult getting out of my seat from in front of the desk. Tonight I mourned Saoirse and myself. The door was already locked and closed. I pulled my shirt off of me before falling onto the bed. This room was quite tucked away from the rest and I liked spending time here when I didn't really want to deal with what I had to. I'd go up here, write and sleep. And right now I was in need of isolation. The only person I wanted here was Saoirse. Never had I wished more for an after life, problem was I was already in the after life.

How would I even find her? I didn't want to find her because I didn't want to hurt her but I didn't want Zanita to do anything. But I wanted to save her but there seemed to be no way. I'm a grown man who can't even control his own life because of a psychotic bitch.

May my sanity and I rest in peace.

On the other side of the forest his guardian angel was. On her knees, hands clasped together, resting her forehead on the edge of the bed, praying. Praying for forgiveness, his safety, his heart, her father. Tears rushing down her face, forgiveness repeatedly leaving her mouth. Her body shaking with every new tear falling down her face. Praying that God would look past her mistakes and forgive her sins. That the one she cared about most in the world would be kept safe.

(Hello dear readers! The number of you are growing by the day and I am beyond grateful! And if any of you didn't get the middle part of this chapter, it was a memory from when Harry and Saoirse thought Zanita was gone but before she'd forgiven him. And I have to thank you for almost 100 000 reads, I am in complete shock! Anyway, I'm going try to update quite fast again, I'm in a writing roll, but I have a competition on Sunday so I need to focus on that, wish me luck, love you guys!)