Bitten (Harry Styles Vampire)

Chapter 38 Tick...

9 HOURS SINCE WAKING UP

The itching in my teeth and fingers worsened by the second. Liam and Harry were discussing freedom right in front of me but I couldn't hear a thing. It was like there was a new voice in my head. One telling my me to kill and murderer. It wasn't me.

The more I thought about it the less I wanted to drink blood. Yes, I can't leave Harry but I can't murder, I can't drink someone else's blood. Things between Harry and I aren't in the best place. Last night was beautiful and one of the best in my life but I can't just forget everything. I can't forget the fact of what he did. He snapped my neck just as I had uttered three of the most powerful words. I always feel myself weaken beneath his touch. I know he loves me but he keeps making these mistakes.

The more I thought about it I also regretted running from here. If I hadn't, Liam's blood wouldn't have been in my system and I wouldn't be dead. Actually I would, Harry would have just snapped my neck today. At least I'd be dead then. I hate being in between, in this so called transition. I'm not human and I'm not vampire and to be honest I don't want to make that decision. I don't want to leave Harry, Liam, Serena, I don't even want to leave my father after all we've been through but then again I can't murder. I can't snap a neck, I can't tear through people's skin to get to what's flowing underneath their flesh, I can't end somebody's life and I can't bond every damn time I need to feed.

If I decide to live on I will have to slaughter and I will live on for god knows how many years, unless I put a wooden stake through my heart. I'm no vampire but I can't just be wiped off the planet.

"Saoirse?"

I'm not the key to this war. I'm not. That book is just an old bunch of jibber jabber.

"Saoirse?"

My head snapped to Harry, who so desperately tried to get my attention. I stared intently at both him and Liam. Frowns were etched on both of their foreheads, worry written all over them. All the colour had drained from my face, I could feel it. My tongue slid over my front teeth, feeling two of them peeking out slightly more than the others.

"You look so pale, are you okay?" Liam asked, putting a hand on my shoulder. Harry scoffs rudely at him.

"Are you seriously asking her if she's okay? She's in a fucking transition she didn't ask to be in, she's a key to a fucking revolutionary war, do you think she's okay?" Even though his rude tone and choice words, I was thankful for Harry's honest answer.

"And look who put her in that transition." Liam glared angrily at Harry who stared back just as spiteful. My head ached from the constant bickering. There were too many worries nowadays. I'm so sick of everything which gives me another reason not to drink any blood.

"Yeah, you and your fucking blood that shouldn't be in my bonded ones system!" Harry stood up from his chair, raising his voice. Even though he was so loud, I felt quiet.

"Please..." I whispered closing my eyes. I knew they would hear me. Tears gathered behind my closed eyes but I pushed them back. "For one second would you two stop fighting?" This time it was my turn to raise my voice and stand up from my seat.

"My life is already looking like shit and you have nothing else to do than fight right in front of me? I'm tired and my decision has never been more unclear, your fighting isn't helping me." I stormed out of the room, sick of the sight of both of them. Their constant fighting was weighing me down just like everything else. I had the weight of the whole world on my small bony shoulders. The bond was still having a go at me as well.

I remember Harry noticing yesterday. My ribs were visible, my hip- and collar bones prominent and bags under my eyes. Transition wasn't making it better either. I couldn't eat regular food, it all tasted bland and came back up. Were is my saviour when I need one?