"Cigarettes, Daydreams, 17"

726 11 18
                                    

A/N: Heather x Reader


⚠TW⚠: Attempted suicide.

(The reason I'm doing this as I feel like even though this is already talked about, it needs to be more supported as a lot of people still don't understand why people do it. A lot can go on. Especially behind the scenes. Thankfully I haven't had someone in my life who has died of suicide and I'm thankful for that. But recently I've had a lot of bad days, a lot of blank minds, a lot of slipping into isolation and old habits. So, I guess that's also another reason why I took a break and I used school as an excuse even though I am actually stressed out but it wasn't the primary reason on why I stopped posting for like a couple of days. So, I guess this is sorta just a little diary of things I've been feeling lately but don't worry! I'm okay, all good. Please don't think that I'm not, I'm all safe and shit. It's more just 'What if this happens?' You know? 

But anyway! Let's get on with the story)

Anyway! HERE WE GO!

Oh, and play the song whenever, idfk

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/n was struggling, deeply. She was in a lot of shit that she didn't know if she could get out of, and she talked to her councillor about it. (A/N: Oh, shit, I completely forgot! If you all are thinking about any of this, please reach out to someone. If it's someone you trust, your parents, your step-dad or mum, your sisters. My sisters are the best, they're probably the reason I'm still here, shout out to them, uhm, but yeah! I hope if any of you are struggling, please reach out)

*The councillor session*

"So, how are you feeling today?" The councillor, Jenny, asked.

"Fine. I-I guess. Yeah." Y/n sighed out, itching the back of her neck as her right leg bounced excessively, Jenny looked at her leg then at her. Y/n's eyes slowly moving down to her leg placing her hand on her knee stopping her but as soon as she removed it, it seemingly continued to excessively bounce, (Don't make it sexual, hehehe, my mind went there too ;) ) 

"Y/n. Is there something that you aren't telling me?" Jenny asked. Y/n sighed and hung her head down, she grabbed her 30 day chips that she got, one for drugs and one for alcohol and one for self-harm, 

"Here." She mumbled.

"And why are you giving me these back?" Jenny questioned which Y/n ignored and stared out the window as it was lightly raining. She continued to stare Y/n down waiting for the answer until it crossed her brain on why. "O-Oh... r-right. I see. Is there anything that I can—"

"Why do the good people..." Y/n started, her eyes not tearing away from the window. "get the worst shit done to them." She scoffed out, she placed her hand on her forehead, "I mean come on, drug abuse? Alcoholism? Depressed? Anxiety? Bipolar... probably! Undiagnosed baby. I mean come on... at least... at least I don't have that. Because that would make me fucked up and I-I don't want too—"

"Y/n." 

"No. No, just let me finish. Right, so, you know whenever you're off for a long time... and you miss your friends. Hoping they miss you. Even though they never texted you once to check up on you, and then when you go back... you're- you're expecting to people to at least... I don't know smile! When they see you but when you go in, it's like your invisible. It's like you didn't even come back at all." Y/n beckoned as she expressed her thoughts, "And I hate— I'm sorry, but I hate... when people are like: 'You need to open up more' 'What're you depressed about?' 'Stop overreacting' I mean come on, what do you want me to be? A robot? Fine." She scoffed out and started doing robot arms and moved in the chair, "Y/n at your fucking service. You know Jenny, I honestly don't see the point in this being helpful at all. I haven't made any progress!"

Random One-ShotsWhere stories live. Discover now