Our little brother

Chapter 61-Reid

Reid's POV:

Todays going to be a good day. We're gonna have fun at the zoo, I'm going to have fun at the zoo. I love the zoo, and everyone will be there, I won't be alone, so why can't I shake the feeling that today won't be okay? I splash cold water on my face and neck before heading downstairs, but it doesn't help me feel more awake, I'll just take a quick nap during lunch. Right before we leave he doorbell rings and I feel the pit in my stomach growing again. Who is it? No one else was coming with us, right? The anxiety leaves my body for a minute when I see it's only Bellamy, but it creeps back into me when he calls us delinquents. He thinks we're delinquents. He thinks I'm a delinquent. I've never done anything bad to get into trouble, I didn't mean to start the fight that got everyone hurt. When we get in the car, Hunter says it was just a joke but what if he really thinks that? I feel a migraine coming on, so I close my eyes, listening to Noah talk, he's really excited, and I guess I doze off because when I open my eyes, we're in the parking lot of the zoo. "Reid w-wake now? S-see giraffe? Reid f-favorite animal?" Noah says as I rub my eyes. I nod at him, but then shake my head. "Penguins. I wanna see the penguins." I tell him. Wait, didn't he ask me about my favorite animal already? I swear I heard him saying noot noot like that pingu cartoon before I fell asleep. I fiddle with my backpack, triple checking that it has everything, even though Hunter packed it and already double checked it with me before we left the house. Bellamy comes over saying he never got a hug from me because Hunter was rushing us out of the house, so I lean in and give him one, he smells good. I feel a lot better when he says he was just kidding about calling us delinquents, Hunter was right, nothing to worry about.

Noah is with Hunter and I don't want to bother him, so I decide that staying with Bellamy would work too, he wouldn't let anything happen, and he wouldn't leave me. My separation anxiety is through the roof today, I don't want to be alone. When we pass the gates, Mr Adler is there holding a bunch of flowers. Wow, I wonder who he brought them for, whoever it is must be really special. Maybe I can ask Hunter to plant roses this year, it's warm enough now to start planting things. He gives one to Noah, and his reaction is the cutest, but then he gives one to all of us! Mine is blush pink and it's so pretty, I could show Noah how to press flowers like mommy taught me. I still have some of them hidden in her books in the library. Everyone got a different colour rose, that's kinda cool, it matched everyone's personality. Spencer and Alex look like they don't know what to do with them, but I know they secretly liked them. They always lay in the garden while I water the plants or pick the vegetables, claiming that they're just keeping me company, but I think they actually just like it near the lavender, especially when they're not in good moods, it really does help them calm down.

Sebastian always makes our plans and itineraries, he's really good at organizing everything so when Atlas and Sarah ask where we're going first, he starts walking with Noah joining him. I hold Hunters hand, but he pulls it away, startling me. Maybe he didn't want me to hold his hand? Or maybe my hands are too sweaty or too cold? "I-I'm sorry. I didn't—" I try to apologize but he just takes my hand again apologizing himself. Sebastian takes us to the penguins and I start feel excited because I love penguins, I try not to stare right up front though, because there are a few parents with their kids. It makes me miss mommy and daddy, I wish they were here, but then I feel guilty for missing them so much because it seems ungrateful to Hunter. He does everything they did, and he's always there, but I still miss them. Ms Lily always reminds me that missing them doesn't replace my love for Hunter or any of my brothers. She says I could miss them forever, and that won't change how thankful or grateful I am for everyone else, but sometimes, like now, it's hard to believe that. I hold onto Hunters hand a little tighter, trying to shake my train of thought, todays supposed to be a fun day, I don't want to be sad today.

The zookeepers are telling everyone about the naughty penguins and Noah says something about Spencer being naughty too. I don't want Spencer to think I'm laughing at him, so I try to hide my smile, but that was really funny, and cute. I think he notices when he gives me a small glare though. Noah says whatever he's thinking and it's never not funny, I even see Sebastian laughing. "C-can we sit down for a little?" I whisper to Hunter after a few minutes of watching the penguins waddle around and swim. Gosh they're so cute, I wish I could just hug them. Hunter nods and brings us over to a bench to sit, I can still see the penguins from here. "What's wrong bub?" He asks me but I shake my head. "I needed a small break from standing." I tell him, my stomach is still hurting, so that wasn't a lie. Noah comes waddling over waving at us to catch our attention. "Reid! R-reid! Noah p-pen-guin! See! S-see!" He says waddling with his hands by his side. Adorable. I hope someone got a video of that. Spencer says something but I can't quite hear him, though I'm sure he was using not so nice words because Sarah slaps her hand over his mouth and says something back. I've turned my hearing aid down a little because sometimes things echo too loud when we're outside, but the volume is turned up enough for me to hear things clearly that are close to me. Things that are further away sound a little muffled, like Spencer and Sarah's voices right now. Spencer sulks over over crossing his arms, mumbling something about kids, but I just let him fume to himself, I bet he was swearing just now, and that's why Sarah told him to stop talking. Sarah has such a positive aura, that when she's being serious, it's hard to actually take her seriously, because she's still smiling.