Risk // Sebastian Sallow

Chapter 35: Bittersweet

tw: references to panic attacks.

It had been a week. One whole week since we saw Anne. Sebastian said repeatedly it was the best day of his life.

But this day? It was one of the worst.

I had spent the evening in Sebastian's bed, too tired from class to even bother returning to my own. I was seriously beginning to regret my elective choices. Particularly Arithmancy. Sharp was also kicking my ass with potions. He had high and I mean high expectations for me. Ones I was struggling to meet.

Sebastian and Ominis were no help. If anything, I had to help Sebastian with his potions so I was on my own. And Ominis? He dropped that class as soon as he could.

They were both also deliriously happy, waiting for a chance to go back to visit Anne to see how she was doing and draft a plan to get her back to Hogwarts.

"How do you feel about them being engaged now it's been a week? Has it hit you?" I asked Sebastian with a smile over breakfast. He'd told me in the hospital that he knew it was coming... but the reality of knowing your sister would be married soon and to your best friend no less, surely that was a little unsettling. Or so I would imagine. I had no idea. I was an only child.

"Yeah well, he told me he was going to do it. He acted like he was asking my permission, but I knew he would do it anyway no matter what I said. But who am I to stop Anne being happy? We aren't little kids anymore, she doesn't need my protection any longer." Sebastian said.

Ouch. I knew coming to that realisation would have hurt him. Sebastian loved and he loved hard. He would do anything for the people most important to him and knowing Ominis was going to become that person for Anne instead of him... it would almost kill Sebastian.

"Are you alright with that?" I asked.

"I have to be."

"That's not what I asked."

"Truthfully? No. I'm not alright with that. She's my sister. My twin. My only family left. And I won't even get to be the one to enjoy the time with her now she's better. She'll be with Ominis."

I could tell Sebastian was getting a bit emotional. He never showed it outwardly and any time his tears threatened to spill over, he shook his head and forced them back. This time was no different.

"It's alright to feel that way, Seb. I can't begin to imagine what it's like to feel like you're losing a sibling, let alone a twin you've shared literally everything with, including a womb... but please know that I need you. I don't say that to be comforting... I truly mean it. You are all I have left."

Sebastian looked at me, his eyes softening as he took in my words and he sighed, running a hand through his hair, a familiar trait he seemed to exhibit when he was trying to gather his thoughts.

"And I need you too. Thank you. I owe you my life. You've saved me countless times and now you've saved my sister. I feel like I don't deserve to be loved by someone as remarkable, incredible and as beautiful as you."

"Don't be ridiculous. You deserve whatever you desire. You aren't a bad person, no matter how much you say you are. I would do anything to make you happy."

Sebastian's head dipped and he pulled me into his arms.

"I love you."

"I love you too. Never forget that." I said into his chest.

He held me tight for a moment before shaking his head again, as if removing the thoughts and emotions from his brain.

He released me from his grasp and went back to his food in silence, but the smile was still plastered across his face.