Risk // Sebastian Sallow

Chapter 45: The Heist

Sebastian

My attempt at lurching forward to try and grab Olive from Marvolo's grasp was pointless. He's whipped her away in an instant and I was left laying on the floor, screaming profanities. At myself. At Ominis. At anyone or anything.

"She's fucking gone, Ominis! You told me he doesn't hurt for no reason! Look at what he's done! He's fucking kidnapped her!" I was screaming. It was loud.

"Sebastian... I-"

"You what, Ominis? Are you going to defend him now, too? What the fuck do I do?! I don't know where she is! Where has he taken her? Tell me!" I had grabbed Ominis by the collar now and was shaking him, as if that was going to jostle an answer out of him.

"S-Sebastian. P-please, I don't know!" Ominis said, trying to snatch himself back out of my hands.

I let go of him and fell onto my knees, slamming my head into the ground.

"This is why I didn't want to get into a relationship with her! Everyone I love gets hurt! Fuck! Fuck!"

Normally when this shit happened, Olive was here to calm me and talk me through it. But she wasn't. She was why I was having this panic attack.

It was up to me to ground myself as much as I could. To focus my breathing.

"Sebastian? Are you alright?" Ominis said, obviously sensing that I wasn't alright.

"Shh." I managed to let out, squeezing my eyes shut and tilting my head back.

Tears threatened to breach the defences of my closed eyes as I tried to picture Olive kneeling in front of me, hands on my shoulders. I focused on her voice, she was telling me I was alright. That she was here and that I was safe. She counted my breathing with me and I inhaled deeply then exhaled. Five times. Like we always did.

I let my eyes open and adjust to the light and remembered that she wasn't in front of me and that I had let the tears spill down my face.

"Sebastian... are you okay?" Ominis was instead crouching in front of me.

"Yeah. Sorry." I said, wiping the tears with the sleeve of my shirt.

"Does that happen often?" He asked me softly.

"Yep." I replied casually, as if it was no big deal.

No one knew how I suffered like that except for Olive. I was normally pretty good at hiding those things.

We stayed silent for a moment while I continued to concentrate on my breathing and not the fact Olive had been just been kidnapped.

"...I'm sorry." Ominis mumbled.

"It's fine. I've learned to deal." I said.

"Yes, but you shouldn't have to suffer like that. And I'm sorry so much has happened in your life to make you feel like you can't let yourself be happy with the person who is clearly your soulmate because of it."

Ominis's genuine concern touched a nerve deep within me. I knew that Ominis was right — my past traumas shouldn't dictate my present and future happiness with Olive. But the fear of losing her, just like I'd lost so many others, had always been a haunting presence in the back of my mind. I was convinced it was me that was cursed and everyone I loved was going to suffer and die because of it. And it was hard not to continue thinking that way when Olive was literally just snatched from my grasp.

"Yeah, well, life has a funny way of screwing with your plans," I muttered.

"Sebastian, we will get her back. And you will love her how you have done for the past year because it's what you both deserve. I won't let you not do that for her. You know she'll need you more than ever after this, when she's back in your arms."