Draco's Hufflepuff | Emerging

Seventy-Two: Refusal

**

Wednesday, 9th April, 1997

My head was rested on my bent elbow, which had been my pillow for the past week. My back was sore, I was cold, and I had never been more physically uncomfortable. But I refused to leave his bed side until he had woken up.

The thought of Draco waking up alone, scared, and in pain somehow made me able to push through the discomfort, because at least I knew that I was there for him in a time of need.

Even if that meant he kick me out immediately and shout expletives at me, I wouldn't care, because I was with him. Especially given the fact no one else had come down to visit him. That broke my heart even more, and I didn't realise that was even possible.

I squinted as I slowly opened my eyes, I cracked my spine and stretched out. He was still sound asleep, and it was a relief to know he looked peaceful. I wondered if this was how Draco felt when I was unconscious.

The constant fear and worry, it ate me up, and it was all I could concentrate on. I was so fixated and hyper-focused on every movement, every sound, and every possible indication that he was going to wake up.

Madam Pomfrey wasn't around yet, so it must have been very early in the morning still, because she didn't show her face until around 7:00am to do her first checks of the day.

I got to thinking about something that was said the other night when I pretended to be asleep. Madam Pomfrey was with Professor McGonagall, and they were talking about Draco. More specifically, me and Draco.

"I don't understand it, Minerva."

"What don't you understand, Poppy?"

"Why those two aren't together. I mean, I've seen it with my own eyes, as I'm sure you have too. They're clearly in love with each other. I feel for them both, Miss. Parsons more so."

"Yes, I know what you mean. I don't like to listen, but I do hear the gossip that goes around, and the general consensus is that Malfoy breaking up with Madeline seems to have come out of nowhere."

"You didn't see her, Minerva, the poor thing. I don't think I'd ever seen someone so distressed. I was very concerned for her wellbeing."

"We all were to be completely honest with you, Poppy. You don't think the rumours are true, do you? Malfoy can't honestly be a Death Eater, he's just a wee boy."

"Of course, not. I don't think even Malfoy is that foolish. I don't usually care about the dramas and silly teenage dilemmas of the students or my patients, but I do hope Mr. Malfoy and Miss. Parsons work things out."

I wanted to make it known that I was awake and could hear everything they were saying, but I just didn't the energy. I wanted to cry, because it hurt so much, to know people were pitying me that much.

The next day after that conversation, I was being asked to go to class and it was obvious Madam Pomfrey was getting frustrated by my stubbornness and refusal to move. So much so, that Professor Dumbledore was called in to talk to me.

I told them they could give a month's detention or even a detention throughout my entire seventh year for it, but I was not going to leave Draco's side until he woke up. Eventually, we came to a compromise – I was to do my school work there. I was not going to sit and do nothing with my day.

To my surprise, I was given permission to eat by his side too, not that I was eating much still, and I was allowed to use the bathroom that was for the patients to shower, brush my teeth, and change my clothes.

**

I was supposed to be doing some Herbology revision, but instead, I was holding Draco's hand, stroking his stone-cold skin with my thumb. Maybe I shouldn't have been doing that because we weren't together any more, but I couldn't help myself, it was as though I was compelled to touch him in the only way I could.

"You're here..." Draco mumbled.

I wasn't sure if I was just imagining it, and my head snapped up to his beautiful face, where he looked so dejected and defeated.

He squeezed my hand back meekly, and he studied me with an intensity that I'd never seen before. Draco was looking over at me like I was the only thing in the world he wanted to see, and he intended on never looking away.

"You're awake," I gasped, trembling slightly, "Let me go and fetch Madam Pomfrey,"

"No, don't, not yet..." Draco coughed, "What are you doing here?"

"I was so scared, Draco, I thought you- I thought you died," I said through shaky breath.

Draco interlocked our fingers, and he pinched his eyebrows slightly.

"I'm so glad I got to wake up to you, you're so fucking beautiful," Draco said, his voice croaky and drained,

"Only you would swear when you've just woken up from a serious injury," I chuckled weakly, for the first time in forever.

My half-smile soon vanished, however, because the weight of the situation and the heaviness hanging between us hit me. My eyes watered and I chewed on the inside of my cheek.

"You need to go now, though," Draco muttered, wincing and visibly in a lot of pain still,

"No, I want to be here with you," I murmured, holding on to Draco's hand for dear life,

"You have no idea how much it means that stayed here by my side, but you cannot be here. If you love me at all, and I know you do, you need to leave. No one can know you're with me. Please, baby," Draco pleaded, his entire body shaking,

"If that's what you really want," I nodded, a few tears silently streaming down my cheeks.

I bent down and kissed his cheek, my lips stayed on his skin for around ten seconds. He cupped my face and wiped my tears away. He kissed my hand and then dropped his hand out of mine.

Turning my back on him and walking out of the Hospital Wing was one of the hardest things I'd ever had to do, but Draco and his needs were more important than my feelings and wishes. Just knowing he was alive, and hopefully on the mend, was enough to keep me going. For a short while, at least.