iFAIRYTALE KaMAGEZA
𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐭 26
[NARRATIVE]
Someone once said "anger is sadness that has had nowhere to go for a very long time" Some people are not the way they are because they choose to, it's the constraints of the past that are in control. One thing about pain, it has a power to turn a person into something they are not.
Sizakele was never like this. She was never angry and heartless. She had so much love to give, a kind-hearted selfless woman. That was before she lost everything that was precious to her. A man who loved her.
A man who took her from nothing. She had no one. He supported her and took her back to school. When she finished matric he had already saved some money for her to go to college. He didn't have much but somehow he made it happen. He did all of that because he wanted her to be something.
Things went wrong when Nomeva found out about their relationship. That was the first time she saw evilness, how vile and heartless a human can be. But because of the love she had for Mahlathini, she stayed and fought for him. God knows she fought. She fought even after he stopped loving her.
That time he was no longer in control of his actions and thoughts, he had become a slave to his mother's evil doings. One of the most painful things a person can go through, she did that to her own son because of the hate she had for her.
There was nothing she could do then, Mahlathini hated her, she couldn't take it anymore. That pain is the one she will never forget. Her life was never the same after Mahlathini. It was almost as if she stopped living.
We do want to forgive but some things are just unforgivable. Sizakele is still hurting, she has bled internally and cried silently for years. There's no healing from what she went through. There's no way she can ever forget what Nomeva did.
The door opens behind her bringing her out of her thoughts. She's been here for too long. She didn't plan to but she needed the closure. There's nothing she wanted more than to watch Nomeva suffer for her sins. She has prayed for this day for a very long time.
When the nurse walks out she moves closer to the bed. Nomeva wakes up and starts coughing. The coughing stops when she meets Sizakele's eyes. They stare at each other for a while with no words uttered.
"I wish you die a slow painful death and for your soul to never find peace"
Nomeva opens her mouth to say something but it feels like all the air has been sucked out of her lungs. She starts coughing again, she's gasping for air this time.
The only thing playing in Sizakele's mind is the series of pain she went through after Mahlathini. The rape, physical abuse, being homeless. Even if you want to forgive, where do you start? How do you forget the pain?
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CONNIE
I'm woken up by a smell of nicotine. The room is dark. There's cool air coming in from the open window. I sit up and rub my eyes. He's not in bed. I grab my phone from under the pillow to check the time. It's just after one.
I've been asleep for only two hours. It was already late when we arrived here. He was determined to go to the hospital but I begged him to rest for the night. He's not himself and I have no idea where he is right now.
I get up and turn on the lights. The Lodge we got isn't the best but there's no where else we could sleep.
"Jackson!" I open the bathroom door. He's not here.
I grab my phone to call him, the door opens and he walks in "I was about to call you" he sits on the bed.
"I went out for a smoke, I didn't want to wake you" his eyes are red. I don't think he was only smoking out there.
"Ok" he gestures me to come to him. When I do he pulls me to stand in between his legs. He holds me tightly with his head against my stomach. I'm not emotionally strong, seeing him like this makes me want to cry but I have to be strong for him.
His hold tightens around my waist "She'll be okay" I whisper. We didn't get good news from the hospital on our last call. Gogo's condition is worsening instead of being better.
"If I lose her it's over" he says after a while "...I'll be all alone"
"Don't talk like that ...please" I know how it's like losing a parent, I know that pain so well "...she's strong, she's going to fight through this" I feel him taking a deep breath.
I hold him for a while, he finally relaxed and agrees to sleep.
We rise with the sun the next morning. He refuses to have breakfast, I eat alone while he watches me. My appetite has been humongous lately. I just want to eat, eat and eat some more.
We leave the Lodge and pass by the garage to fill the car. The petrol attendants get hooked on the car that we end up spending more time than intended. This always happens when I'm with him, when I'm alone, they don't care much. Jackson entertains them, that's how he is, he's a people's person.
With his birthday around the corner I already know what I'll get him. I know he always refuses when I suggest getting him a car but I will. I mean if I don't spoil my man, who will?
We finally arrive at the hospital. I don't like hospitals. I never have and I never will "Are you okay?" he asks rubbing my back as we walk in, I don't feel good.
"I feel like throwing uh-" I don't finish the sentence. I'm off running to the bathrooms.
I throw up all the breakfast I ate. I walk out with tears in my eyes. He looks worried. I keep assuring him I'm okay and the more I emphasize the less he believes me. The argument ends with his final say. I'm going to see the doctor.
We are directed to the ward. I hesitate going in. I haven't met with Gogo yet and this is definitely not a place to do it. But I don't want to abandon him here, he needs me. I take a deep breath. His hold tightens on my hand as we walk in.
I don't think worse describes the scene before us "Ay ndodana, ugogo kubi. She keeps getting worse, we are doing everything we can but akulungi" the nurse explains. It's been only a day, yet it look like she's been here for weeks. This is not good.
"We have to take her to a private hospital" Jackson looks at me "...immediately" the nurse is nodding. She knows too well Gogo is going to die here.
"Okay" he says and I quickly take out my phone.
"Oh Matron" the nurse says as a tall woman strides into the room " ...gogo's family has arrived" the nurse says to her. She seems to be paying no attention to what the nurse is saying. Her eyes are on Jackson. It's awkward in the room. It gets even more awkward when she walks to Jackson. She stands in front of him, he looks so confused, we all are.
