iFAIRYTALE KaMAGEZA
𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐭 47
CONNIE
He takes a long draw of his cigarette and then slowly blows it out of his mouth and nose. He's not supposed to smoke, we both know that but he's hurting. He's looking for any way to escape. I get up from where I'm sitting but he raises his hand stopping me. He's still covered with her blood. We're at the hospital. It was too late, they couldn't save her. She had lost so much blood. I sit down on the bench and stare at him destroy his lungs. His eyes are a sea of red. There's hurt and anger in them. Lobola negotiations are no longer happening. When I told the family about what happened they were devastated. They even wanted to come with me but I stopped them.
He finishes the cigarette and stands up crashing it with his shoes. He starts walking out and I stand up following behind him slowly. He opens my door, I get in, he slams it so hard that I flinch. This is going to be a long night.
We arrive home and go straight to the bedroom. People have began arriving to pass heir condolences. Nomeva is gone, just like that. We're never going to see her again.
He starts stripping his clothes before I can even close the door. He walks to the bathroom. I'm left picking the clothes up. I grab a plastic bag from the drawer and put them inside it. While he baths I take out my phone to call the people I left back home. I don't know what is going to happen now. They left everything and flew all the way here for the negotiations. Lucky enough they are understanding. They also want to stay for the funeral.
After a while he finally walks out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. He sits on the bed. I'm standing and waiting for him to tell me to come to him. When he does I run and hold him so tight as if my life depends on this "It's going to be okay" I keep saying. I hope he doesn't blame himself for this, it was not his fault.
He lays down on the bed and I snuggle him. Time passes. I can hear cars arriving outside. I hope I'm going to be strong for him. I knew Nomeva on her last days. We became a little close. I'm hurt because I had hope she was going to get through what was troubling her, but it's okay. God decides.
"When is he going to start kicking?" he asks brushing my bump.
"Soon, maybe if you sing to him" he chuckles.
"I can't sing"
"Yes you can, sing Maskandi" he laughs lightly and starts singing. I don't understand any of the lyrics but it sounds good. Miracle moves, I'm surprised "What the hell?" He's looking at me too "Did you feel that?"
"I did" he's smiling, he's happy. I am too, Miracle has never kicked before.
"I think Maskandi is the trick" he smiles and kisses me.
"I'll sing to him every night" he says against lips.
We cuddle until we fall asleep. We're woken up by a knock on the door. Jackson gets up and puts on clothes. I fix myself and walk to answer the door. It's Celiwe. She has a sleeping Thando in her arms. I take her with no words exchanged. I can hear humming coming from Gogo's bedroom. Celiwe walks away. I lay Thando on the bed putting a fleece blanket over her.
Jackson is dressed and ready to go out. He looks much better than he was when we came from the hospital "I love you" I say in almost a whisper.
"I love you too" he says before walking out. I also have to change and wear something decent. Jackson's mom walks in as if she read my mind. She's the one who dresses me. Even during the ceremonies I was dressed by her, I very much trust her. She suggests a long black dress. I have to cover my shoulders with a scarf, my head has to be covered too. I sit in front of the dressing table as she covers my head.
"How is he?" She asks looking at me from the mirror. I honestly don't know, I don't know his thoughts or how he's feeling inside.
"He will be okay" She nods. She finishes and we walk out to the kitchen where we prepare something to eat for the church members. Luckily she brought cupcakes and scones. We'll have to make more of them. We'll Just serve them and drinks whenever people come. I just hope everything goes well without hiccups. We've had many of those, it's enough now.
*
The first day goes by smoothly. It's late in the evening when he walks into the bedroom. I'm lying in bed with Thando. The poor child is traumatized. She's quiet. Nhloso came to try cheer her up but she's not in the mood for anything. She just wants to be here next to me. When she woke up earlier she looked for me around the house while crying. I had to drop everything and come be with her here, away from everyone. She doesn't understand what's happening, what all these people are doing here.
Jackson takes off his shoes and hops into the bed. He sits leaning against the headboard and invites Thando into his arms. She's crying again and asking where her grandmother is. Jackson manages to calm her, she falls asleep again. He lays her down in between us. He then takes my hand and leads me to the chair where I sit in his lap.
"How are you feeling?" he asks me, I'm only worried about him.
"I'm okay, how are you?" he takes in a deep breath and leans against the chair. I wrap my arms around his neck.
"I want to get over this and move on with my life" he says. I'm not sure how to take his statement but if it's what he feels and wants, I'm going to support him "The funeral is in 2 days. I don't want to make your family wait longer, they have lives to get back to" I nod.
*
*
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[NARRATIVE]
It's the day of the funeral. The old lady is finally being laid to rest. The community came out in numbers. The tent is full and overflowing. Pastor Ngubane is leading the funeral service "Now I would like to call forward, Gogo's grandson to deliver a few words before we all go out to lay her to her final resting place" the Pastor says.
Mahlathini gets up accompanied by music as he walks up to the podium with Connie by his side holding his hand tightly. He takes the mic and clear his throat "I would like to sing a song. Nomeva liked this song. She sang it every morning I never needed an alarm to wake up for school. Her terrible voice was enough" everyone laughs. He begins singing 'Jehova Mhlengi Wami' everyone follows behind him. Those who cannot utter the lyrics are humming.
"I have a lot to say, probably I would go on the whole day if I had to say all of it. I'm going to direct my words to her..." He turns facing the coffin. He takes a deep breath and holds Connie's hand tighter "...Nomeva ...ntomb' kaGijegije. I forgive you. I hope you forgive yourself too. I don't want to remember you for what you were in your last days. I want to remember you as the woman who raised me. Who taught me kindness, to respect the world and everyone around me. I will remember your food, your stories around the fire every evening. I know I wouldn't be the man I am today if it wasn't for you. Regardless of everything that happened I will never forget the role you played in my life and in my daughter's life. I pray that God lights your way and that you find peace. Lala kahle ke Ntombendala, Siyohlala sikukhumbula"
