Buffy the Vampire Slayer Preferences + imagines/one shots

Spike Imagine - Memory

Spike's POV

Buffy rang at 11:17 PM. 

I was tidying away my books. The old classics and soppy poetry that Y/N liked to tease me about, but secretly read when I was away. They'd come to live all over the crypt, so while she was out with Buffy at The Bronze, I thought I'd spring clean. 

I picked up the phone. 

Spike? You need to come to The Magic Box. Now.

I didn't put on my coat or put the phone back in the receiver. I didn't blow out the candles or tie my laces up.  I simply dropped the Emily Dickinson in my hand and ran all the way to Giles' shop without stopping, the midnight air stinging my face. 

When I burst through the doors, the bell that hung above the door broke, smashing on the floor, but nobody noticed. They didn't even look up. They were all huddled around the table - the table, which had someone laying on it, motionless. 

"What happened?" 

I shoved Xander out of the way and when he didn't make a snarky comment, the panic set in.

This was serious.

"Vamps at The Bronze," Buffy explained, brushing sweaty hair from her eyes, "One knocked her out. I didn't think it was too bad, she's been knocked out before, but... This time she's not waking up."

She looked dead, save for the gentle rise and fall of her chest which still did little to settle my concern. A blood-soaked bandage was messily wrapped around her forehead, where she'd been hit, and I touched it lightly. Blood stained my fingertips. 

"Where's Willow?" I asked, voice thick, because the witch would be able to do something. Make this right. Bring her back to safety, to me. 

"She's on her way. I'm sorry, Spike. I tried to protect her, I swear..."

Buffy trailed off and when I looked at her, tears brimmed in her eyes. Although it probably didn't show on my face, I didn't blame her. Most of me didn't want her to feel bad. I turned my focus back to Y/N, taking her warm hand in mine, stroking the back of it with the pad of my thumb. 

The door crashed open again and Willow ran in, but instead for heading straight for us, she hopped over the counter with surprising grace and started to pick various spell ingredients from the shelves behind the till. 

"Thank God." Xander exhaled, taking a seat to give us space. I'd never appreciated him more than in that moment.  

But Willow didn't need a spell, because Y/N's hand started to twitch as she awoke. Her eyes opened and they'd never looked so beautiful. 

Her eyes met mine and she screamed. Well, it was more of a guttural, strangled whimper but the fear in it was overbearing. 

"Hey, it's okay. It's okay." I tried to calm her but she sprang up and hurtled towards the door before Willow caught her, pulling her close to her chest so she couldn't run away.

"Woah, you're okay." Willow told her but it made her burst into tears. Willow and Buffy exchanged a worried glance. 

"Please," she whimpered, "Let me go. I - I - I-"

I said her name, slowly, deliberately. She stopped sobbing. 

I stood dumbly, arms limp, legs numb as my girlfriend eyed me with such caution that it made my stomach hurt. 

"How do you know my name?" 

"Because... you're my girlfriend." I replied carefully. 

Her eyebrows flew to her head. 

"Do you know who I am?" I asked gently, half not wanting to hear the answer.

"William," she whispered, before adding, "I don't know how I know that." She tilted her head to the side as she studied me and I clenched my jaw, my whole body rigid. 

Slowly, like a tamer approaching a lion, Buffy spoke to her, "I'm Buffy. I'm not going to hurt you, Y/N, none of us are. We're your friends. You have a head injury so you're struggling to remember, but it's okay, you're safe."

Y/N's eyes flit to her, unblinking, and her breaths slowed. Willow released her.

"Who are you?" she asked Willow softly, as if scared to offend her. 

But Willow broke into a smile that was her best attempt at reassuring, "I'm Willow. I've known you since third grade. Do you remember?"

She shook her head the tiniest bit. 

Willow nodded, "It's okay."

"I'm sorry." she whispered in response. 

Willow touched her shoulder, "It's okay, I promise. Do you want a hot drink?"

She looked to me, then to Buffy, then back to Willow. She nodded and followed the witch to the backroom. Her voice trailed off as she disappeared, "Do you have any painkillers? My head is pounding..."

Xander exhaled loudly, running a hand down his face. Buffy turned to me, expression stern, "What shall we do?"

"I'll take her home."

"To your crypt?" Buffy raised an eyebrow, emphasising the last word pointedly. 

"Does she even remember vampires exist? You think she won't be creeped the fuck out when you take her home to a cemetery?" Xander challenged and I hated to admit that they had a point.

"Bloody hell." I wanted to sit down, but I paced around The Magic Box because I didn't want to be too far from the backroom. I heard the electric kettle being turned on and soft, feminine voices.

"I could take her to mine. She's been there enough, it should feel safe for her, right?" Buffy offered.

I wanted to take her home to the crypt, but I also wanted the best for her in the situation. She was scared, vulnerable and who knew how long this memory loss would last. I needed her to remember, but trying to push her would do no good.

"You're probably right." I found myself responding, "Try to get her calm, keep her safe. She... she should stay with you as long as she needs." I grit my teeth, "I'll bring some of her stuff over before sunrise." 

Buffy padded over to the phone.

"Hey, Dawn? Y/N's had an accident... No, no she's okay, she's just lost her memory. I'm sure it'll come back to her soon. Yeah... I just... Dawn, can you clear up any weapons or vampire stuff that might be lying around the house? Yeah. I don't know if she can remember all that stuff... Thank you, I'll see you soon. Love you."

The possibility of her memory never returning plagued me. I didn't think she'd fall in love with me for a second time - it was a bloody miracle that it happened in the first place. But losing her was something I forced myself not to picture. 

"I'm sorry, man."

I looked up, my eyes connecting with Xander's. There was a line between his forehead and his knees were pulled up flush to his chest. I nodded. He nodded back.

"This has never happened before. I'm scared that -"

Buffy cut herself off when Y/N and Willow emerged from the backroom, shuffling in with half empty mugs of hot chocolate. The smell was sickly sweet and made my nostrils flare but I forced a small smile when she looked at me. I didn't want to unnerve her.

"Hey," Buffy's voice was too casual, too breezy, "How are you feeling?"

Her voice was quieter than usual, "Better. Willow's been very kind."

"So, it's getting late. Do you want to come back to my house to get some sleep? You can camp out on the sofa or take my bed, whatever you want."

I swallowed, waiting for her response that didn't come.

She stared at me. 

"William?"

"That's Spike." Xander tried to correct gently but I dismissed him with a wave of my hand.

"William's fine. What is it, pet?"

"Can I stay with you?"

part 2 up next !!