She's Just Like Satan, But Sexier!

(17) 3ZO

I lay awake for hours, unable to sleep. I am petrified of what my dreams may haunt me with.It is roughly 7 am when Roxy wakes up. She jolts up as if something sparked inside of her head, she quickly begins to get ready. She looks nothing like her usual perky self.

"Where are you going?" I manage to push the words off the end of my tongue.

"I need space, we need space," She says ever so quietly, I'm forced to rise off the bed and move to her side.

"Your not being serious right?" I murmur staring at my hands, my feet, the floor boards, anything that isn't her.

"Of course I'm being serious, all of this, what is it? The anger, the sorrow, when was the last we actually had time together when we were nothing but happy? No drama, just us!" She yells, her voice cracks. A lump swells in my throat.

"When we met, we can make it all go away, back to then, we can make this work, we have to!" I manage to sob. Tears run from my eyes, rivers of broken love, unspoken words.

"I have to go, for the both of us! We're not happy, your not happy neither am I, we should be happy but we're not, it is as if you don't want us to be together, the world doesn't and your friends don't..." She says standing strong but her eyes glaze over.

My tongue feels heavy, my mouth feels dry, my words freeze, they spin around in my head but I'm unable to verbelize them.

"You won't even say anything, I'm right!" She sobs, I try to pull her close but she pushes me away.

"I will make it all go away, forget what people think, yes our relationship has been a rollercoaster but I don't care, I need you!" I sob, I'm slowly falling apart.

"I love you, you need to know that, I love you so much that's why I have to do this," She says wiping away my tears, the tears come faster and faster, my vision is blurred.

Her soft lips press against mine, long and hard, I know what this is, it is goodbye. She pulls away, grabbing her things and heading for the door. I stand and stare.

As she reaches the door frame, she turns around.

"I love you, don't forget me..." She whispers on that sorrowful note she just disappears, from the doorway, from my home, from my life.

Emptiness envelopes my feelings, my body feels numb, my heart feels frozen, the tears keep coming. What have I done? Why didn't I stop her? I have so much to talk to her about, questions. I can feel the burning in my throat already, I run to the toilet ready to empty the contents of my stomach. 

I hear a knock on the bathroom door "You okay honey?" It is my mother.

"No," I cry and I am sick once more.

"Stay at today, love. We are off to work, rest up!" 

I stay in the bathroom long after they have left. I eventually wonder downstairs, lost in my own pathetic sadness. I grab my phone, I find myself scrolling down the pointless news feed. I'm phone vibrates with a facebook invitation;

'You have been invited to the 'Zombie Thriller Disco' party, all is welcome, alcohol will be provided, the event will be held on Main Street in the Club '3ZO' tonight, be there!'

I already feel like a zombie as it is. I forward the message to the group chat, and everyone responds, except Connor. I know I don't want to be alone, I need to time to heal but I also need to be anywhere but my house. I drag my ass from the sofa, head in the shower, the rays wake me up refreshing me from my feelings and state of mind.

I shave my legs and body, I have to take care of myself and show that I'm coping. I dry and straighten my hair, I search through my wardrobe for something that isn't my usual. I groan at finding nothing. My mind flickers from events I've been too that I looked attractive, my tom boy look isn't going to cut it!