She's Just Like Satan, But Sexier!

(18) Girl Crush

We pile into Niall's house, he doesn't tell any of the details of his rendezvous. I am in the kitchen getting us all cans of coke when Amber joins me.

"Thanks for bringing me home," She sits on the kitchen counter.

"It's alright, are you sure you're okay? You seemed a little off."

"That was dodgy coke I think," She mumbles, I cannot help but laugh at her. We have all been there, it is only natural to try drugs during your first year at University.

Nialls comes into the kitchen "What are you two talking about?"

She shakes her head at me "Just tutoring stuff, grab some of these will ya," I tell him passing him a few cans.

We watch a bit of TV together, Amber stays with us. She sits beside me the whole time, at one point she falls asleep on me.

"Are any of you staying over?" Nialls asks, I decide to. I don't want to be in my own bed.

"I'll stay over that's chill. I'm not at Uni tomorrow."

"Yeah, that's fine,"

"Want me to take you to your house to pick up some stuff?" Zac asks.

"Yeah that would be fine, shall we set off now?" I might be able to catch my parents. Niall and Amber are the only people who live here, their parents passed when they were younger. They were both put into care but as soon as Niall turned eighteen he left and got his sister out with him, they're parents left them a hell of an inheritance. 

"Can I come?" Amber asks, we both say yes and leave to get into Zac's car. The rest of them decide to chill with Niall.

Amber sits next to me in the back of the car, is she still tripping. Zac decides to stay in the car whilst Amber insists on coming inside of my house with me. My parents are sat watching a film with a glass of wine each.

"Hey, I am staying over at Niall's house tonight," I tell them

"It is my house too," Amber mutters 

"No worries hun, where is Roxy? Are you not seeing her tonight?" My dad says raising a brow at Amber

"We broke up, just wrong timing and stuff," I lie

"Such shame honey, she was lovely. Eh, onto the next?" Mother giggles sipping at her wine tilting her glass toward Amber.

"No no we aren't," Amber blushes, I roll my eyes and head upstairs. She follows.

She sits on my bed as I pack my bag, change of clothes my charger, my laptop in case I decide to do any coursework.

"Your room is pretty cool," she says staring at all my band posters.

"Thanks, I'm just going to pop to the loo, stay here," I say and go to the bathroom

I go about my business and once I am done I wash my hands. I almost jump at the reflection in the mirror, Roxy. She is staring at me, shaking her head. My heart hurts a little, I turn around to talk to her but she disappears. I sigh heading back to my room, Amber is lying fully on my bed. She is deadly still.

"You okay?" 

"Yeah, your bed is just super comfy," she laughs sitting up.

"We should get going, I am all packed," I grab my bag and we leave my house.

The drive is quite fast, Zac isn't very talkative. He decides not to come in, and when we enter the house it seems everyone else went home too. Niall is sat watching something on the TV, I sit with him and Amber heads upstairs.

A couple of hours pass, we make pasta and the three of us chill. I find myself becoming exhausted quickly. I excuse myself and take my things up to their spare room.  I change into my PJs and there is a knock on the bedroom door.

"Come in," I call, Amber enters the room.

"Jackie, I have a girl crush on you," Amber admits.

"I think that is just called being gay," I laugh at her naivety. I appreciate she's sweet but my heart hurts too much to reciprocate any feelings.

"Maybe, but I really really like you." She pleads almost.

"I appreciate that, but you're Niall's sister, and I don't want to do anything to upset him and if truth be told, I am not wanting to see anyone for the foreseeable future. I am going through a rough breakup and I think it's best I stay single for a little while." I tell her.

She nods in agreement and sweetly kisses me on the cheek and leaves me alone. That was the nicest way I have ever let a girl down before. I climb into the bed and I am enveloped in the veil of exhaustion unable to keep my eyes open, entering the doors of my own harsh truthful imagination.

The icy wind bashes against my tanned blanket they call skin. The world as I know it transforms from a small living area to a place with open space. Waves crashing beneath me knocks me into the realisation of exactly where I am.

My body moves at its own accord as if I am being controlled. It wouldn't be the first time. The road beneath me shakes slightly as I'm moved to the side of the road pushed against the hard railings. Holding on tightly I look over the edge, waves of red clashing against the barriers of the bridge, its as if the waters are overflowing causing it to rise suddenly. Something or rather someone catches my attention; Roxy. She stares at me, she's half-naked.  My heart races, it echoes through me beating loudly. The sound surrounds me. She is standing on the edge, it seems that some of the barricade is damaged leaving a huge gap in the bridge. It is a doorway to the death of drowning. Not far from the gab is a car, it's black and somewhat familiar.

"This is your fault, you should have listened to them! Listened to your guy!" She screams at me, the sudden feeling of missing her hits me. She is haunting my dreams. I don't understand. Tears flow from her eyes, she stands hovering on the edge. She stares at me as she takes steps.

"Feel the pain!" She hisses and walks off.

I'm rendered powerlessly unable to do anything but watch. I feel heated frightened and tense as I feel and see her falling, soaring like a fallen angel...