She's Just Like Satan, But Sexier!

(32) Claire or Roxy?

"Keep your eyes closed!" Echo scolds me, as she leads me up several flights of stairs.

She dragged me out of bed early this morning, she apparently has something amazing planned for us to do today, and well I've been awake for almost four hours and I still haven't had my daily dose of caffeine.

A rattle certainly feeds my curiosity, what is she up to? Roxy holds onto me tightly guiding me wherever she pleases.

"Open your eyes!" She squeals excitedly like a child on Christmas day.

My eyes shoot open, I am welcomed by space and plenty of it. An empty room, which leads to several empty rooms.

"What is this?" I manage to respond verbally.

"This is our apartment well it will be once we start moving furniture and stuff!" She practically explodes with excitement, she walks around smiling with her arms out.

I stand processing everything. Empty place. Moving furniture. 'Our Apartment'.

"I didn't know we were moving in together?"

Her face drops

"We are together and with everything we've been through it's only a matter of time..." her eyes stare at me intensely.

"I'm still with Claire, in fact she's back today, and things are just going way too fast." I confront her honestly.

"Claire this, Claire that, fuck Claire! I thought we were making something of us, well I guess I thought fucking wrong!" She screams at me before she turns her back on me and storms out of the apartment. She doesn't look back.

I stand waiting for the oh so familiar guilty feeling, all I seem to do is upset the people I care about. Should I go after her, tell her she's the one or leave her to cool off and go and see Claire?

I know it's not fair stringing them along, but I need them both. Roxy is a risk, she could snap and ruin me any second, but Claire shd is warm and loving, she's safe. She's my safety blanket and Roxy is my risk.

I adore them both, maybe Roxy more than Claire but they both give me different things and feelings. Roxy is feisty and sexy, and the heat in the bedroom is unbelievable, she goes out of her way to do things for me. However, Claire is kind, caring and loving. She's incredibly sweet, she's practically perfect. She takes things slowly, she's human and angelic. She's everything I could ever want for the future but Roxy is lively and wild, everything I need in the present. She understands passion and keeping the spark roaring.

I need to make my mind up, before someone gets seriously hurt.

Finally, I move from the empty apartment, the keys are still in the door, I lock the apartment before putting them in my pocket. I need to see Claire, talk to her, perhaps that will shed some light onto my decision. Being near the apartment is overwhelming, quickly I get out if the building.

Hauling for a taxi doesn't take ling, sitting the back seat I ask to be taken to the airport.

The driver warns me that it may take a whole due to heavy traffic, I shrug it off feeling almost reluctant to get there in the first place.

Claire's plane doesn't land for another hour or so anyways. I feel bad, I have been dreading her return lately. Claire is coming back. I haven't wanted the time I've been spending with Roxy to end. I've loved the secrecy thrilling feeling of cheating. It's wrong but feels so right. Today it must end.

I wait patiently in the airport departure lounge.

"Jackie!" Claire yells as she speed walks towards me with her suitcase rolling behind her.

Before I am able to respond she practically jumps on me, throwing her arms around my neck. Like the romantic pro I am, I grab her by her waist lifting her off the floor. She kisses me softly before I put her back down.

"Did you miss me?" she smiles at me grabbing my hand.

"Of course, how was it with your parents?" I respond grabbing her case for her

We share small talk as we head to Starbucks for a catch up. She is full of life, and looking just as good as I remember.

She smiles at be sipping her Caramel Macchiato, her eyes glistening and filled with warmth, now I see and feel like I've truly missed her. She tells me how she has met up all her old friends and how she would love for me to meet them.

~.~

"Come inside?" She whispers after kissing me. Can I really crawl from between one bed sheet to another, am I that type of person? I need to do this.

"Sure, but just to talk," I man up, she grabs my free hand and I haul up the suitcase to her place.

We had dinner together, caught up, light hearted conversation, I watched her, I breathed her in and it hit me. I realised everything I wanted, and exactly what I have to do. Once we are inside of her place, I put down her suitcase. She wraps herself onto me, this isn't what I was going for.

To avoid the lust I peel her from me as I sit down onto the sofa.

"Can we talk?" I ask, her face automatically drops, this talks are never easy, and I have never done this on purpose.

She sits down next to me, her head bent in a listening way.

"You're perfect, and you're amazing and you can do so much better than this," I begin.

"Cut to the chase, you don't want to jump into my pants so there is clearly something wrong with you." She snaps, it stings slightly but what I will say will probably sting her most.

"It isn't working, I am sorry but this isn't enough for me, and to be honest, you deserve better. I am not who you thinnk I am, I've been cheating and you deserve to know." I blurt out.

She stands and slaps me as the tears flee from her eyes "Who with?"

"Roxy, I'm sorry I had to tell you, my intentions were never to hurt you, this is for the best..." I stand.

"GET OUT NOW, JACKIE I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!" She screams at me. Before she picks something up and throws something at me I quickly leave.

I feel bad of course I do, but I shouldn't have put my heart into it if I knew deep inside I was never really over Roxy. One thing of my list of putting things right, now I only have to sort things out between me and Roxy.

I hurry home, hopefully Roxy will be there when I get there. If not then I have no idea where she could possibly be, and since I have the apartment keys I doubt she will be there. Home is the best place to look.

There is a lot to he said to her, I haven't quite figured exactly what I have to say to he here. Maybe thinking about it like this won't help. In situations like this it's best to let your heart do the speaking.

This morning, I didnt react so well. The whole apartment thing was a little too much. Or maybe it's right, and the genuine surprise made me not think properly and blurt out whatever. I think we can work, we have to. We need to slow things down a little bit.

The last thing we need is everything to speed to quickly and spiral out of control.

I hope I've made the right decision. So far I have went with my heart, it has betrayed me in the past, who knows if it has any idea what it's doing.

Letting my self into the house I notice suitcases and boxes stacked up at the bottom of the staircase.

"Roxy?" I call loudly, no sign of her.

Turning around to shut the door behind me she stands.

"I have packed some stuff, I will move to the apartment myself. Consider me as good as gone." She sniffles, her face tear stained.

"You don't need to do none of that. You are the one I want to be with. Claire is gone, I told her everything and you're the one I want and need to be with!" I tell her, her face lightens up. I pull her close to me, she smiles, it's beautiful; she is beautiful. I didn't realise but she is my everything.

"Do you love me?" She asks chewing on her lower lip.

"Of course I love you, I love you more than anything." the words fall comfortable from my mouth.

"Can I turn you?"

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