To Be The Second|✔|#projectcharacter|#projectwomanup|2fab4reads

Chapter 24; Not Allowing Her To Know... Part 2

Chapter 24:

I stared endlessly at the ceiling. Not a single wink of sleep.

I sat up in the bed, head pounding. I was starting to feel a bit of nausea as I rushed to the bathroom, I stood waiting for a while as nothing seemed to come out.

I sighed angrily and walked out my room towards the kitchen. I switched on the lights only to get frightened by the figure sitting there.

"Why are you awake?" I asked him with an emotionless expression.

He says nothing as he sat silently. I grabbed a bottle of water from the cupboard and turned to walk away when he spoke.

The nausea rushed to me as I bent over the bin, but nothing yet again, Zander rubbed my back effortlessly and smoothly. I moved away from him, grabbing some medicine from the cupboard and swallowing it down.

"Irene, would you sit with me for a moment?" he asked desperately. I wanted to say no and indeed I would, but I could not  sleep either, maybe this would fuel some fatigue into my body.

I made my way to where Zander was sitting by the kitchen island, grabbing a chair and sitting beside him. Not a single word was exchanged between the both of us. Nothing at all. Just an awkward and uncomfortable silence.

"Why did everything have to become this way?" he sighed.

"I don't know Zander, you tell me. I had done my best to be the mate suitable for you, but I guess we weren't meant to be."

He shook his head. "it's not we weren't meant to be, it was just I didn't want us to be. And even though the mate bond is killing me slowly, I don't want us to be." and for some reasons those words hurt. They pierced so much.

"Why can't we be? WHY? what's so wrong with me? What have I done to deserve your dislike, your disrespect? What? What makes me not good enough? Why couldn't you just accept me as your mate?" the words flowed. The questions that hurt me everyday, I now asked.

"You had done nothing, Irene, and for that I'm sorry. I wish you had done something to make me hate you. I wish you did something to give me a reason to disrespect you. But you didn't. I told you before, I had loved once. My heart, Irene, I'm afraid to love again. Take a chance again. Take a risk again. Me. An alpha. Afraid." he looked down as he run his hand through his hair frustratedly.

What could I say to that? What? He had a chance, yet I did not...

"it's not fair." I whispered loud enough for him to hear me but not the hurt laced in my voice. He faces me confused.

"It's not fair that you had gotten a chance to expirience your mate, your bond, your love. Yet I was not given that chance. I may be your second, but you're my first." the tears formed. Why was life so cruel. Why. What have I done to deserve this.

"Irene..." he said my name but I stopped him.

"please let me leave if you feel any remorse or have any heart. Let me find my second chance mate, and expirience love like you did, but fairly. Don't hold me here captive if you cannot love. Don't." was all I said before getting up and going back up the stairs towards my room.

I shut the door behind me and slid down just like the tears staining my face. I heard him flip over the chairs in the kitchen. But I wasn't going to go to him. I needed to hate him. No affection was worth it. I was done with life. Done with Zander. Done with this bond. I just wanted to quickly give birth and leave his side along with this child I bear.

I'm tired.

I'm sad.

I'm heartbroken.

But I want him...

And because of that, I don't want to be near him.

******************

Oooooooooooh! I think Zander should've came clean about his past, what about you?

Do you think they'll end up together? Do you think they won't? Why is this book so addicting? Naniiiiii? 😂!

Don't forget to comment and vote for the story! ❎

-Rama