ᴜɴʀᴀᴠᴇʟᴇᴅ |ᴀ.ʟ| ꜱʜᴀᴅᴏᴡʜᴜɴᴛᴇʀꜱ ꜰᴀɴꜰɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ {ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴀᴍɪʟʟᴇ ꜰᴀɪʀᴄʜɪʟᴅ ᴛʀɪʟᴏɢʏ #2}

{𝕬 𝕻𝖆𝖗𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖔𝖋 𝖂𝖆𝖞𝖘}

Damn that title is hard to read...it's says A Parting of Ways. Sorry it's so confusing but it looks good so...meh

***

It was time for my mother's funeral, my first Shadowhunter official ceremony ever.

What a great first experience.

It was strange to be dressing in white for the occasion. I'd only been to a few funerals, if you count the memorials we'd hold for my 'father' every five years by some stranger's grave.

The hall was silent but loud at the same time, mourners crowding every space. Four bodies lay upon podiums by the front, covered in white, gauzy chiffon covers scattered with rose petals. It was eerie and beautiful - the epitome of a Shadowhunter's legacy.

"Any luck?" I question Izzy, standing by Alec's side. His grip on my hand was so tight, I wouldn't be surprised if it bruised.

I was still yet to really open up with him, to return even slightly to how things had been before but I wasn't completely icing him out anymore. At least not right now.

I needed him right now and I was selfish enough to take his support, deserving or not.

"No" Izzy shakes her head, "Aldertree said the Clave enforced the order. No Downworlder's allowed."

I sighed in frustration and despair. Simon and Magnus had wanted to be here today, to say goodbye to my mother, to help Clary and I through this. Luke was still missing but I knew he would've wanted to be here, too.

But of course, the Clave is Law.

"Are you okay?" Alec whispers, his breath fanning my hair

"I'm okay" I assure him, "This is harder for Clary."

"Don't deflect" Alec sighs, pressing the softest of kisses to my hand, entwined with his, "She was your mother too"

"Those remaining will take their place by the fallen" Aldertree's voice rings through the room, bouncing off the otherwise silent walls

My grip lessens, my fingers slipping through his but he grab my hand back quickly, a new reflex he'd had to pick up on account of my guarded, emotionless accompaniment of late, as Jace and Clary ascended the podium, hand in hand.

"Cami" Alec whispers, gesturing with our entwined hands to the podium I was supposed to be standing on

I shake my head silently, and this time I was the one gripping his hand tighter. The entire room was staring at me but I didn't care and I knew no one would dare to force me up there, not here. Not now.

Alec gives up trying to convince me and instead places his free hand on my arm, rubbing it up and down in smooth, calming motions.

I had to admit, it was helping. A lot.

"Those remaining will say the names of the fallen" Aldertree continues, a slightly miffed expression on his face regarding my lack of decorum.

Fuck him.

"Brother Micah" One of the remaining silent brothers voice's rang through the room, indicating the first of our fallen.

"Pulvis et umbra sumus" The crowd chorus'

"Brother Jeremiah"

"For we are dust and shadows"

"Jocelyn-" Clary begins but her voice breaks, her eyes brimming with tears. With only one glance at our mother's covered body, she shatters, sobbing into Jace's chest

"Jocelyn Fairchild" Jace finishes stoically, his arms wrapped tight around her. He was the same as I would have been, had I only been mourning instead of guilt-ridden, shedding transparent tears for a mother we'd loved but never felt connected too.

I heard the sound of sniffing beside me and turned my face to Alec.

He was crying.

I'd never seen him cry before and, I hoped then and there that I'd never see it again. I wasn't naive enough to think he was crying just for my mother - he was crying mainly for me.

"Its my fault" I cry, shaking my head as if to expel my feelings, my border of emotional blockage that had been chipping since day one now crumbling.

"That's not true" Alec asserts automatically. He'd had to say it so often these days that it sounded involuntary, a reflex.

"I don't believe that" I whisper, shaking my head slowly

He'd tried to assure me many times that no one blamed me, that they'd forgiven me...but there was only so much he or anyone else could do.

I had to forgive myself now and that wasn't going to come easy or soon.

I shook my head again, as if to shake the tears away but it was clear that wasn't going to work. Alec smiles sadly, placing a comforting hand on my cheek, mouthing the only words he could think to say.

'It's not your fault'

"Ave atque vale" The crowd chorus' once again, "Hail and farewell"

Clary and Jace descende the podium and soon, a sobbing Clary appeared by my other side. I stiffen and Alec notices, encircling his arm around my waist, squeezing me to him tightly. I did the same, though my arm was weak, limp.

My other hand hung loose by my side but wasn't empty for long. Turning my head slightly, I see Clary's hand gripping mine desperately, as if it was all she could do to hold on to me, to let me know she wasn't angry at me, that she'd forgiven me.

The Silent Brothers used their steles, tapping each of the deceased soldiers foreheads and then turned to face the large, flaming mourning rune hanging from a banner beyond.

Raising their arms, the bodies glowed a brilliant white and filaments of golden, twinkling light that reminded me of the colour of my runes rose into the sky and through an open chasm in the ceiling of the building.

It was beautiful and haunting and for some reason...

I knew this wasn't the last funeral I'd be attending this year.