Chapter 19: DO I.....

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Jordan & Giselle

Tonight was the second Hawks game against the Raptors before they head to Toronto. Though the possibility of me having cancer has kept me in the house crying myself to sleep, after hearing how happy my brother was after the win I knew I had to will myself out of bed to support my baby brother. Even though he has completely raised my blood pressure with his antics he's still my baby. I couldn't help but to think how this news would Devastate my boys. Of course my parents would be hurt but my boys, my boys needed me. It was already heartbreaking enough seeing how sad Devyn was thinking that after Bakari was born we would forget about him.

And my son and the apple of my eye. My heart aches at the possibility that he would have to live without me sooner than he should. I still haven't even told Jordan about what's going on. Finally we were so happy with our lives. Our businesses were flourishing, our son was healthy and thriving, and still after two years of being together and nearing the one year anniversary of our marriage, we are still very much head over hills for each other. If something were to happen to me I would want him to remarry and have beautiful babies. I want him to live the life he and I dreamed of together. It would be hard I'm sure , but Jordan is strong and resilient. Any woman would be lucky to have him.

I've even been thinking of another man who used to be in my life as a child. After some family drama he just up and left never to be heard of again. Sometimes I wonder if he still thinks of us. I just want him to know we still love him.

My thoughts were cutoff by the sound of Jordan yelling for me to come downstairs.

After having Jordan snap a quick photo of me we were off.

I was nervous on how tonight would play out. Since my mother-in-law was keeping little Dev as Devyn would say, and Sincere and Chanel would probably be out partying with Dev if he wins tonight, Jordan and I would have the house to ourselves. Jordan forgave me for lashing out at him and I was thankful because he wasn't my enemy, he was my husband and the love of my life. But until I know for sure if I had cancer, Sex was the last thing I wanted.

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Tonight was a little different from the last game

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Tonight was a little different from the last game. This time Scottie, Gee and Chanel accompanied Shawn ,Sincere and I to Devyn's game. I was hoping for a little couples night out , but Reggie had taken Scottie on a little trip to The Napa Valley in California. What was heartbreaking was hearing Dez and Chloe wasn't on good terms. They reminded me so much of Gee and I with how much they seemed to love each other I was sure they would stand the test of time.

I let him know that his and Chloe's relationship didn't affect our friendship and he thanked me. Tonight I was counting on the Hawks to pull off a win cause I needed a reason to give Giselle some much needed dick tonight. For whatever reason she's been stressing lately and I just wanted her to feel good. So you already know I was on the Henny hard tonight. I'm tryna touch baby girl soul and rejuvenate that bitch! Foreal .

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