What was Still is

Chapter 19: James

Friday morning comes quickly, I lay in what could be considered my new bed. I haven't been back to the loft in nearly two weeks. Ely walked away after the burial Monday, I'm not sure if he will even be here today for our flight to L.A.  I can't imagine him not being by my side for tomorrow when I launch Southern Glow.

Watching my best friend losing her baby and her world implode changed me, something went into hiding and I can't seem to find it.

"Jay, you going to get up?" Joey walks into the room sitting down on the corner of the bed, her leg tucked under her.

"Yea" I finally let out.

"Have you heard from Ely?" Her eyes locked on mine.

Rolling my eyes I flip the blankets off and scoot out of bed. Choosing to ignore Jo and make my way to the bathroom.

"Jay you have to talk to him" she calls out from behind me

No I really don't my mind jumps to this response, luckily my mouth stays shut as I close the door.

I shower washes away all the guilt I have. I know I should call Ely, but I can't bring myself to do so. His calls stopped coming by Wednesday. Billy went over to the loft and grabbed some of my things. I hate that he had to do that but I can't bring myself to face him.

He walked away.

I get dressed and toss the rest of my things into my suitcase, since I'll only be gone for a couple of days I've managed to fit it all in my carry on. ForeverBeauty had my dress there waiting so I just need to have travel clothes.

"Is Ely meeting you at the airport?" Jo asks from the kitchen as she bangs around.

"I don't know" I say as I head to the kitchen.

"Do you want me to find out?" She raises her eyebrow waiting for my answer.

Challenging me to say no.

"No I don't, if he wants to come he has a ticket and he knows how to get there." I say dry hoping she stops this line of questions.

"I'm going to ask this once and then that's it, I'll leave it be. And if you want to stay here you know you're welcome as long as you need." She puts her hands on my shoulders squaring me to her, "Are you sure this is what you want? Are you done?"

Tears spring me from the back of my eyes and my breath hitches in my throat.  I fight back for a second more so that my voice comes out confident, "Yea I am, if I walk away now then.... then I won't get hurt." I finally manage.

Jo searches my face, she has known me since I was 6 years old. She has been there for me in some of my roughest times, she was there for me when my heart broke at 9 because my father walked out on me and my mom. He broke our family and he took my momma's heart with him, she never gave love another chance and she died alone, I don't want that heart ache. 

My family I have now with Joey and Billy is all I have left after my mom passed, I thought Ely was apart of that until the night our family needed him and he was with her.

They are all I have left and they broke a week and a half ago, I still hear her crying  at night from my room. I still hear the heart break.

"He didn't do anything Jay, he came running as soon as you called him. He was there in that room with all of us the day. Jay he was there." Tears roll down her face as she tries to show me the bigger picture.

"She was there Jo.... that night I called him to meet me at the hospital. I heard her voice in the background."

Joey's eyes widen at my secret.