What was Still is

Chapter 22: James

The sound of the lock sliding into place releases the flood gates. I slide down the door as tears slide down my face, my eyes flutter closed and I can see her face on his phone, the image is burned in my imagination.

I wait, listening for his footsteps to walk away from the door, I pray he walks away.

He stays, I can feel his weight on the other side of the door. His back pressed to the same door my back is pressed to.

"Jay?" His voice comes through the door.

I swallow trying to push the lump down, "Yea?" I croak.

"I'm sorry" his voice is smaller through the door.

"Yea" I whisper not sure he can hear me, but I don't move. I choose not to come back out of fear that Ely would break my heart, what I didn't count on was still loving him two years later. I didn't count on looking in his eyes and seeing the other part of me in him.

I stay sitting on the floor for what seems like hours, I refuse to move as long as I know he is there on the other side. He is no longer mine but I can't help but be drawn to him, I can't ask him to forget what he built when I ran, so I stay and don't say a word. I cannot ask him to love me because I broke his heart trying to protect mine.

The faint buzzing from my phone finally causes me to move from my spot but only on the pretense it could be Jo and I'm here because of her, for her.

Unlocking I see it's a text.

Ely- My ass hurts sitting here-

I can't help but smile underneath my hand.

James- mine too-

The three little dots appear before they disappear.

Ely- can I come in?-

James- to talk?-

Ely- to do whatever you want-

He definitely doesn't mean that. I stand  from my spot, my ass is so very numb and possibly flat from sitting for so long.

With the click of the lock sliding out of place I release the breathe I've been holding and turn the knob opening the door to Ely. His eyes look dim, his clothes the same as before but his shirt is untucked, his tie undone around his neck but his smile the same as always. I step back allowing him in.

"Thank you, that floor isn't soft, if we are going to keep doing that they are going to have to buy a rug or move." He chuckles as he passes into the living room, his scent trails him. I've missed that smell.

"Agree" I giggle locking up before following him and flopping down on the very fluffy couch, my ass is thanking me.

We both lie back, sinking into the couch. No words just sitting next to each other staring into the abyss.

——————————

In the distance I can hear my phone ringing but I can't see it, it rings again this time closer and I realize my eyes are closed and I fell asleep.

My eyes open slowly as I take in my surroundings, everything is sideways and it's then that I realize I'm laying down. Sitting myself up I feel Ely stir, I was asleep in his lap. His head laid back on the couch with one arm over my middle. He is going to have a sore neck when he wakes up sleeping at that angle. 

I see Joey's name on the screen and I answer, "hello" my voice still sleepy.

"Are you coming back today? Because visiting hours just started and I want you to see my sweet baby" her voice soft so she doesn't wake the baby, you never wake a sleeping baby.