What was Still is

Chapter 24:James

I came back to take a nap but I can't nap, there's too much on my mind, making my way into the bathroom I decide a bath will help relax me. Laying back my mind wonders to Ely.

Does he love the girl from his phone?

Does she make him as happy as I once did?

Can I let him go?

All of the questions I have no answer to, except the last. And that answer scares me, that last answer could change everything I built in my career, and is it worth it? 

My hands play through the bubbles as they start to fizzle away. Joey is wise beyond her years, and she fights hard for what she thinks is right- even after pushing a baby out of her. And what's worse, is she is right, she's always right. I'm not ready to let him go, I love him and it took me two years to figure out love isn't scary not if it's worth it. There was nothing profound found in seeking out my dream career, especially since I was able to do most of the first line from right here at home.

My phone rings from the bedroom pulling me from the internal battle I'm having. I jump up and take off to the bedroom, only slipping once.

Joey's name disappears from the screen by the time I get to my phone, only for her name to reappear.

"Hello" I wasn't waisting no time answering.

"What are you doing?" She asks with a definite smile on her face.

"Trying not to break my neck getting to my phone because I was in the bath" I huff out trying to catch my breathe.

"Could of fooled me" She starts to laugh.

"What did you need again? If you don't spill it I'm hanging up and going to run another bath with my ringer off" I joke sitting down on the bed wrapped in a towel.

"Oh yeah I called to tell you we've been sprung! We have do a car seat test and makes sure she will be okay and then we are coming home."  Ely opens my door and stops, our eyes locking.

"Oh" I breathe out still staring at Ely where he stands.

"Yep and heads up Ely is on his way, we're going to have a homecoming and family dinner. Play nice" I hear the nurses voice in the background, "Gotta to see you soon" she hangs up before I can say anything.

"Hey" I break the silence.

"Hey" his voice a whisper, his eyes staying on mine even with my body dripping wet and in a towel.

"I need to talk to you" he takes a step to me, I scoot over and he takes a seat next to me.

"Okay" my eyes focused on the floor, scared to look at him, scared of what he has to say.

He clears his throat, his eyes on the floor "I.. uhm... I'm kinda seeing someone" his nerves coming out through those words.

I close my eyes so they can keep the tears in, his words bringing my biggest fear to the surface.

"Uh Yea, I uhm figured that out but it wasn't real for me until you said it" tears are forming behind my closed lids, a tear escapes and falls to the floor.

"Her name is Casey, I've been seeing her for about a year.." his voice trailing off.

My head nodding with each of the words, none of my own forming.

"I... I need you to know everything James" he finally turns to me, I swipe my hand under my nose before opening my eyes and looking back at him.

"Yea?" I can't help but ask, chewing on my top lip trying to get brave enough for the next thing I say.