At Your Service ✓

[Chapter Fifty] Shawn

Chapter Fifty – Shawn

I left; I can't believe that I just left. I saw her broken expression in the rear view window as I drove away and I couldn't get it out of my mind. I just fucking left her there. I was getting close to base and I slammed on the breaks as I pulled off to the side of the road and punched the steering wheel. What the fuck am I doing! How could I just leave her like that when she's fucking pregnant with my child, a child I would be a coward not to take responsibility for.

I flipped the car around and she wasn't outside anymore when I got back, I can't believe I just did that. I put my head in my hands and hit the steering wheel again not caring about the pain. I wanted it to hurt god damn it what did I just do.

I got her to take a mile forward and just pushed her back ten. I rushed out of the car and I didn't even debate with myself on knocking I just barged in there, I knew Lex was at school and Marla was at work and I knew that she wouldn't let me in if I knocked.

I walked through the house looking for her and it broke my heart seeing her curled up in bed crying. Why, why the hell did I have to do that to her. Why did I have to do that to us?

"I'm so sorry." I told her and she sat up fast and held her head before bolting to the bathroom, now I was physically making her sick. I held her hair back and she just let me until she was done and she brushed her teeth.

"Get out." She gripped the sink and pushing aside what I just did, I was really worried about her. She was pale and she looked like she was going to faint. Her eyes were already red and puffy, damn it.

"No, I'm sorry I just freaked out it all just hit me and." She cut me off not giving a damn about what I was trying to say.

"And nothing. You're a selfish asshole." She snapped at me and met my eyes through the mirror which I thought made them look angrier until she turned to actually face me and nope, she was just furious.

"I know." I couldn't argue there.

"Get out of my house." She yelled and I grabbed her arm to steady her, I was really worried about her. She yanked herself away from me and stumbled back "Don't you dare touch me." she hissed and I looked down not being able to meet the anger and hurt and disappointment in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry I promise you it won't happen again, I swear I'm just freaked out Mari, this was just thrown on me and I haven't had time to adjust."

"No, just stop!" she cried as she tried to step away from me

"Baby please." I begged her, I tried to make any kind of connection with her, I placed my hand on her cheek and she did the same to me, except much harder.

I felt the sting and I heard the sound before I registered the slap and I just nodded and I took it.

"I deserved that." I said and once again I couldn't look her in the eyes, her beautiful eyes that usually held so much compassion turning against me. She had all the power over me and I don't think she realizes just how much.

"Damn right you did." She put her hands on my chest and shoved me away hard.

"Please just let me explain and damn it sit down." I said when she wobbled a little, off balance.

"Don't tell me what to do and I don't want to listen to a god damn thing you have to say." She crossed her arms she was so god damn stubborn

"Fine." I idn't even give her a chance, I swooped down to pick her up and deposited her on her bed

"Are you fucking kidding me, don't man handle me." she was like a ticking time bomb. I fucked up massively and she was hormonal and pregnant, the last kind of woman you want to piss off.