At Your Service ✓

[Chapter Fifty-Four] Shawn

Chapter Fifty-Four – Shawn

We were having a son; I looked down at Mari’s stomach and smiled knowing that we now knew it was a little boy in there. Now we can start picking out names and buying clothes and stuff. I wished my mom was around and my dad was alive to see this.

I wished that we had more people to share this whole thing with because even though this baby will have two parents he and Lex still won’t have grandparents or cousins or aunts or uncles but it’s probably for the best that they don’t,' I don’t want my step father near us anymore than she wants her parents.

The doctor pointed out the baby on the ultra sound and gave us another video and photos, the baby was healthy and that was what really mattered and then we went home happy.

When we got home I sat at the kitchen table with Lex while Mari reheated something while Lex did her homework, Mari kept looking at me both worried and curious and I knew I should probably say something but I just couldn’t right now, I had to just let this day sink in.

I knew Mari was getting worried I would freak out like last time since I was just quiet but I wasn’t going anywhere. I was afraid she was going to be the one to freak out and run away, actually.

We made small talk during dinner and Lex talked enough for all of us so she didn’t notice the silence but Mari kept glancing at me but wasn’t saying anything, she was just letting me be for now, probably because other people were around.

She would more than likely interrogate me on it later and I’m not sure she was ready for that conversation with me.

She’s already agreed to move in with me before our son is born and I wouldn’t let her go back on that but it’s just hard to know the right amount to push her, when to back off and when she’s just really not ready verses scared but wants to.

It was like trying to defuse a bomb sometimes, I never knew how she was going to react and I never knew what was going on in her head. We were together but we were both still kind of closed off, just because you have a kid doesn’t magically make your relationship perfect.

I helped her clean up dinner in more silence and then she put Lex to bed while I did the dishes and when we got changed for bed we still hadn’t spoken, I can’t believe how natural this was for us now, I was never at my place anymore and I just let her keep going with the illusion that we weren’t living together if it helped her from freaking out.

But we did, my stuff was here, I left from here every morning and came home, I only went by my place on base if I needed something in particular.

“Okay what is it?” she finally caved and asked and I shrugged, it’s not like I wanted her to ask but I didn’t not want her to ask either but now that she did I wished she hadn’t.

“Nothing.” I said vaguely

“You’re lying to me.” she crossed her arms and I couldn’t help but smile when she had to try a few different ways to get them crossed in a comfortable way without hitting her breasts or stomach, I know it was bad that I found her discomfort amusing but it was cute.

“I’m not lying.” Not really at least, I just didn’t know how to approach this. We had a due date for a baby and a decision on what was going to be happening and I didn’t know how to reassure her that moving in wouldn’t be bad, that we would be great together, that I could be a father to more than one child.

“Are you having second thoughts again, I mean” her arms went up which meant she was about to rant, so I wrapped my arms around her waist and kissed her which usually did the trick in getting out of whatever she was about to say and this time was no different as she kissed me back.