ALWAYS ZAYN

58'

Unedited.

"She's awake!" Zayn exclaimed looking at a frantically looking Nana who looks like she's being struggling the whole time she was 'sleeping', more like being comatose.

He pressed the button to alert the nurse and doctor when she started yelling and trashing her legs all around. He wanted to help, he badly wants to but he can't do a thing except to look at her with wide eyes. She didn't even call out his name after looking straight at him, he hopes she doesn't lost their memory in the process of remembering the other unimportant one. No, he can't deal with that pain if she loses her memory because he won't leave her alone even if she does, no, he won't!

"Move out of the room please, we'll call you back when everything is stable, sir." A nurse calmly said to Zayn but you could see that she's about to shit herself because of how murderous Zayn looks at the moment.

He was about to yell at her to leave him alone when he met Hajiya Salamatu's pleading gaze fixated at him from the door. He stood up defeatedly walked out of the room and down the hallway to the quite looking area where there is no one. The look in Nana's eyes are haunting him. What does that mean? She looked at him in the eye but didn't bother taking another glance at. He's afraid she's lost all her memories now and they need to start afresh because he is not leaving her.

"You need to stay strong, Zayn. Whatever it is she found out in those long days of her sleep, it's very bad because she didn't stop shaking till they sedated her again." His mother in-law kept a comforting hand around his shoulder.

Not only is Zayn going to pay for those memories, they are also going to pay a heavy price because they knew she won't look at them the same now that her memories are back and she found out that they didn't start loving her like any parent should, not until she got into that terrible accident and almost lost her life. She thought that if not for that, they wouldn't have looked at her nor asked why she didn't bother calling them or why she looks thinner.

After the accident and finding out she won't be able to give birth, their hearts shattered. Who would want to marry a woman after knowing very well that she won't be able to give birth because of some complication caused by her ex husband? She's not even a new lady, she's been used brutally by her ex husband. She was a widow for goodness sake!

They found out that he was abusing her pretty badly and those scars were there because of him. It was hard getting creams that makes them fade away and even though she spent a lot of time in the hospital, there is one that hasn't fade away till now. Her mother told her that Hannatu mistakenly kept a razor on the bed and she cut herself in the process. It was a very long cut at her back.

She only agreed to that lie because she was in the hospital and was asking why she was there when she woke up from the coma two years back. They also told her that she'd lost a lot of blood and was unconscious that was why everything changed when she woke up. The lie worked but now, they are about to answer a lot of questions and they are not ready for it. If anything, they would want her to forget about everything that happened three years back if only Khumais wasn't concerned.

Now they are happy she didn't give up her life when she was having those memories refreshed up. They saw her struggling to wake up two days ago but she couldn't, she'd struggle for some few minutes before going back to sleep only to wake Zayn up in the night like she was having a nightmare. He was very afraid and almost had a heart attack if not for the nurse's reassurance that she's just coming across a bumpy road in the memory lane.

"I know." He let a tear slip from his eyes but he was quick to clean it dry but his mother in-law caught the droplet on her leg.

"I feel responsible for everything. I'm sorry if this will cause something great between you two." She patted his shoulder twice before turning around and leaving, not even waiting for him to talk to her because he was about to say the 'it's not your fault'.

"It is not your fault because you're the reason I have someone to treasure for the rest of my life." He whispered to her retreating figure.

Nana felt dirty!

If there is any other word related to it, be it unpleasant, obscene, ill-gotten, immoral, filthy, despicable, unethical, raunchy, salacious, underhandedly, soiled and everything dirty. How could she have let Zayn fall for a dirty person like her? Why would she bring him into her shady life that has nothing but dirtiness and uncleaned water. What will she feed him when he's thirsty when all she has is dirty water? Should she feed him the dirty water? No, she's not going to drag the man she loves into her messy life.

"How are you feeling?" Her mother asked but Nana only flinched because of the hollowness she's feeling within.

She clutched the blanket closet to her chest as if she's afraid that they might do something to her. She badly wants to accept them like they were after everything that happened but she can't remove the feeling that they were the causes of everything. Asaas (root) to all her problems. If not that they opened the branches and let Isuhu marry her and those village people get into their heads, she would've being happy right now with Zayn but they tarnished that happiness, maybe even forever.

"I'll go see the doctor and come back." With that, Hajiya Salamatu walked out of the hospital room with tears gushing down her face.

Zayn couldn't even walk into the room because he was told that she's sleeping, that's what she asked the nurses to tell him and they did, he's now in the hallway waiting for her to be conscious again. Hajiya Salamatu asked him to please accompany her to the doctor and since she's his wife also, he should know about what is wrong with his wife and what she needs right now not dwell in self pity.

"I think she'll need to go to the rehabilitation centre. It's getting harder for us to communicate with her, she only nods her head and shakes it. I'm afraid she's traumatized with all that happened so this will be the best option. We'll give her time, maybe about a week or so, if she doesn't improve, then the rest is for therapist." The doctor explained, adjusting his wired glasses atop his nose like an old lecturer.

"What?" Zayn thundered, what is going on again?

"Yes, sir. But we'll give her a week and if she doesn't recover, then the therapist is her doctor." The doctor gave a small smile before dismissing them and the duo walked out of the room.

Zayn sighed and went back to Nana's room but she immediately closed her eyes and act all sleepy. He didn't leave the room though, he sat down on the chair next to her bed. Gently, he took her hand into his like he routinely does whenever he is in the room. He cradled it like it's something fragile and just like an egg or maybe even a glass. Unknowingly, he released a smile, just looking at her sleeping face.

Some days earlier, he was afraid that she is not going to come back to him because all colours drained from her face and when the doctor opened her eyes to check it, he will notice how dull they are, filled to the brim with loneliness but she isn't lonely, he is there with her, for her and will always be. If there is anything in this world that Zayn wants to see everyday in his life, that person will be Nana and Nana forever.

"Mami, you need to wake up." He lie his head down on her hand, the one he's cradling and she could feel his hair tickling her. How she wished she could ruffle in and tease him about why he's getting so emotional, she hardly sees him like this.

"They think you can't manage on your own that you need to visit the therapist but I know you're very strong and will make me proud. I know you will stand up and talk to them like you should because you have me, Khumais, your parents, mine, my siblings, your brother and Rukayyah. You need to wake up and see your loved ones. Don't shut yourself up please." Then she felt the droplet of tears snaking down her hands.

Nana felt terrible but this is the best way to give him what he wants and that is not her. He would think that she deserves him but that's because he doesn't know a thing about her past only that it was terrible. No, her past is not only terrible, she can't even begin to describe those awful moments. She's fixing everything together now and knows her answers before she could even ask, everything is now making sense. She needs to wake up and talk to the people from her past.

We are getting there.