Helpless when she smiles [Sam Drake x plusSize!Reader]

Chapter 25

Warnings: Angst, mentions of abortion 

On the next night you couldn't sleep, because you had slept almost all day because you were too tired from the crying. You sat on the couch under the blanket, staring at the black screen of the tv in the middle of the night, deep silence flying around you.

You didn't know what to think anymore. You didn't know what to do. You weren't ready to be a mother, and you and Sam had been dated less than a four months, you had no idea if your thing is going to work, even you loved him more than anything.

You had asked your friends to visit you on the next day, telling them it was urgent. They tried to ask you what it was, but you wanted to tell them face-to-face. You needed their support. You knew Annie had made abortion in the past, and you needed to talk with her...

Sam sat in his apartment, tv was on but he didn't watched it. His coffee table was full of empty bottles of beer. The air was filled with the light grey smoke, from the cigarettes he had chain smoked.

He rested his hand on his knee, his fingers wrapped around his last bottle of beer. His heart was pounding on his chest and his thought were running inside his head like a fastened movie.

He weren't young anymore. He had seen his best days, of youth at least. He rotted in prison for over a decade, missing the chance to have a family.

He didn't knew that he wanted a family of his own, until he met you. The emptiness and loneliness inside of him was filled with love and happiness after you stepped into his life, and he wanted nothing else but to spend rest of his life with you.

And now he had a chance to have all that. But he didn't knew if you wanted it.

He took a long drag from his cigarette, long drag while he waited how it reaches his lungs. He took a deep breath before he puffed the smoke in the air, looking how it stayed to flow in the air front of him.

The beer started to make his head fizzy, making his head even more messed than it already was. But yet he tried his hardest to think clear, try to think how he can proof to you that he wanted everything what universe was offering you two now.

He regretted that he left your apartment. He should have stayed there. He should have walked to you and hug you, tell you that everything is going to be okay, that he's not going anywhere. But in that moment he wondered that it was the right thing to do, to let you to be alone as you wanted. But he knew it was a mistake. Now you were maybe thinking that everything what was engraving inside of you, were actually true. That he didn't want to be with you.

He placed the tip of the bottle between his lips, feeling the cold glass against them, while he slowly poured the beer down on his throat. He swallowed and looked at his phone. It was late, but he wanted to call you. He wanted to call you and made sure you were alright. He wanted to tell you that he loved you and he isn't going anywhere, even earlier he did. That it was a mistake. He put the cigarette between his lips and took his phone, dialing your number.

You looked at your phone, your screensaver, about the picture of you and Sam. Huge smiles on your face, while he's kissing your cheek. Tear rolled down your cheek and you wiped it away, putting your phone down and laying on the couch, taking a pillow in your arms and squeezing it, while you bend yourself in half, trying to make yourself as small as you just could.

Sam put his phone down, taking last drag of his cig and tumping it to the ashtray. He needed to be sober when he calls you. He leaned his head of the backrest of the couch, looking at the ceiling, while he let all of the air from his lungs out with a deep and long sigh.

Your friends couldn't believe what you were saying to them. You sat on the couch in the middle, while Violet sat front of you on the coffee table her hand on your knee, Annie sitting next to you on the couch, holding your hand and Janet on the other side, her hand around your shoulder while you rested your head on hers.